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Song Parodies -> "Smells Like Karen Carpenter"

Original Song Title:

"Top of the World"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Carpenters

Parody Song Title:

"Smells Like Karen Carpenter"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

I stay up nights wishing Karen Carpenter had done vocals for Nirvana. That would've totally rocked. Softly.
Load up all your guns and bring your friends
It is lots of fun to lose and to pretend
She is so over-bored
And completely ass-sured
And I - know that's a dirty word again

I'm the worst at what I do the best
For this lovely gift, sweet Jesus, I feel blessed
'Cause our group's - always been
And will be - till the end
A mosquito, my libido, and the rest

Oh baby -
With all the lights out
It is -
So much less dange-rous
Here we are now, darling, entertain us please
Oh what else - can I be?
'Cause I'm all apologies
And I swear to you I don't - have a gun

Eye me like a Pisces when I'm weak
I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks
I'm forever enticed
By your priceless advice
You can come here doused in mud or soaked in bleach

Now I've just forgotten why I taste
But I guess it puts a big smile on my face
It was hard - hard to find
Oh whatever nevermind
Screw Green Day - I'm a bigger Basket Case

Oh baby -
With all the lights out
It is -
So much less dange-rous
Here we are now, darling, entertain us please
Oh what else - should I say?
Seems like everyone is gay
And I swear to you I don't - have a gun

Yeah Courtney (Love)
With all the lights out
It is (Dark)
So much less dange-rous
Here we are now, darling, entertain us please
I wish I - was like you
'Cause you're easily amused
Okay maybe I just might - have a gun

Copyright 2005+ Spaff.com
Undefiled lyrics to "Smells Like Teen Spirit," "All Apologies," "Come As You Are," and "Heart Shaped Box" available here.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 28

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 4
 5
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   0
 2
 2
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   23
 20
 20
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

DKTOS? - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
For those who Don't Know The Original Song ("Top of the World"), it's temporarily available at spaff.com/dktos
Kristof Robertson - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
How the HELL did you come up with this idea, Spaff? Gloriously perfect...555
Melhi - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm kinda glad Kurt will never read/hear this, but oh how I hope it reaches Courtney's ears. The only way this could be better is if it was Hole lyrics in a Barry Manilow original. >:)
alvin rhodes - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
great stuff...always loved karen's voice, but thought the songs were weak...i've visited her crypt many times....5s
Johnny D - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
I wonder what Mary Lou Lord would think of this?
Johnny D - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, regardless of what she might think, I think this is a slick and cleverly-written parody, Mighty Spaff.
Tim Hall - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
A splendid piece of work!
Paul Robinson - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Spaff - This was a BRILLIANT hybrid parody! Double-Kudos to youdo...
Agrimorfee - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
I literally had to read this twice...the first time I thought spaff blew a mental sprocket, but the second time through--wow, what a winner! The gun references were creepy, but ingenius. 555
Laurence Dunne - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Smells like 555. A merger of Nirvana and the Carpenters would surely have spawned a hit called '50 ways to kill your singer'
Olvan The Terrible - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Three fives for you, and nothing I can say can possibly do this parody justice.
Jack Wilson - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
THis is awesome!!! 555!!! Spaff, Id love to see you do a seasonsi n the Sun parody called "Cant Stand Seasons In The Sun"
Red Ant - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Spaff.com, I cant vote on this honestly as I DKTOS, and probably would like it, but if you want to hear something stranger, try this. Take an Alice in Chains CD ( Dirt or Facelift recommended ) and on your computer use like a Play Center 2 ( I'm sure you have much better than I ) and set the lyrics to something like "male to female vocals alto". When I first did it I was blown away. It make everything a little higher pitched , but the vocals change completely. Just something to consider ( and judging from your posts, ratings and website name ) you might like AIC ( if you do not already ).
Michael Pacholek - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
If I were a carpenter, and you were a lady, would you buy my records anyway? No you wouldn't, not if you had good taste!
Spaff.com - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Since "getting" this requires some familiarity with both the Carpenters and Nirvana, I expected a really subdued response. Thanx, y'all, for confounding my expectations.

FOTSIRK NOSTREBOR: Random Play and NyQuil.
MELLO: Barry ManHole? Great idea. Gonna do it?
SCHOLAR RHODES: It's a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there.
JOHNNY DD: I'll admit that I had to Google Mary Lou Lord to pick up on her connection to the whole Kurt/Courtney soap opera. Did you know that MLL also got together with Elliott Smith, another gifted singer/songwriter who committed suicide? If I were her current boyfriend, I'd be checking myself into therapy pronto. (After bragging about it first to anyone who'd listen.)
NOT-SO-TINY TIM: A splendid comment.
P-ROB: Thank you, mash-master. And, uh, arrrrh matey!
AGGRO: "I swear I don't have a gun" is one of my favorite Cobain lines.
LAUDANUM: "Make yourself hurt, Kurt. Starve yourself barren, Karen..."
OLVAN THE TERRIER: The only thing that would do this justice would be deletion.
LOCAL CELEBRITY: That sounds like a job for YOU. And see if you can track down the Squirrels' version of "Seasons in the Sun." It is one of the most hilarious covers of all time.
RED ANT: Alas, I have neither an Alice CD or Play Center 2. But the experiment sounds fun; I'm a proponent of any technology that makes grunge singers sound like Karen Carpenter.
MICHAELOPEDIA: If a tinker were my trade, wouldn't you repeatedly ask me what the hell a tinker is?
Arwen - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
So basically, I can't begin to say how much I loved this. I really want to...but I can't. And I hate it when that happens. Bastard.
Stuart McArthur - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
how do words suddenly appear
when you get
an idea
unlike me
struggling to be
close to you

just an inspired idea, this was - the lines just seem to come out ALL different when Karen's singing them - LOL!! - 555 - what about the reverse? Kurt singing Karen's lyrics....
Red Ant to Spaff.com - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
While I have only been here about 2 weeks, I noticed you almost immediatly, and assume that you do this for a living probably better than Weird Al ( I would say definately better, just no videos ( that Ive seen anyway, if you do have some somebody let me know how to get them or the tapes)). Spaff.com, I must say that I have a very wide range of likes of almost every kind of music from as old as the Beatles/Animals ( 1964 approx. right? ) up to Korn and Tool today. I must say that Layne Staley of Alice in chains in IMO the most genuinely true to his own feelings/emotions out there, not just for drama, because he was indeed an " Angry Angel". What I was trying to say with him is that, if you did what I suggested you would most definately not get Caren Carpenter, but perhaps one of the best female grunge singers alive. ( although if you can cough up about 30-50 bucks you can get what I have, not a dig intended in any way/shape/form )If you changed vocals from say "male to female microphone" or something equivalent you might get Karen Carpenter. Yes Layne Staley was a heroin abuser, and most of their songs are depressing or about drugs, but real life isn't always peaches and cream either.
Sweet Indigo - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Smells like three 5s to me...
Michael Pacholek - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
What the hell is a tinker? I don't give a tinker's dam.
Spaff.com - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
SISTER EVENSTAR-A-LING: Speechless? You?!
STUARTISTE: You're already there. Take what you typed and set it to the tune of "Teen Spirit." Fives, baby.
RED ANT: OK, you've sold me. I promise to listen to more Alice In Chains. And I'm flattered by your suggestion that I "do this for a living," but I'd quickly starve. Like everyone else here, I only write parodies as an unhealthy obsession disguised as a hobby. I did do most of the lyrics for a CD, though - check it out at www.elvesgonewild.com
INDIGO: Smells sweet!
MICHAELOPEDIA: I believe a tinker is a Neverland pixie with its bells severed.
Jack Wilson - March 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Im gonna start on that idea too!
Red Ant - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Whoot! Possibly another AIC fan! I will check out your website since you were kind enough to respond to me twice. Thanks Spaff.com. :)
... - January 06, 2006 - Report this comment
I really don't get it. Maybe it's because I'm a Karen Carpenter fan. And never a Nirvana one. I don't see any humor in it...
bobpiecheese - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
To ... , the humour is that he simply jammed the lyrics of some Nirvana songs into a The Carpenters song. Quite odd actually. Please record it.
Spaff.com - July 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanx, creamcheesepie, for explaining the joke to ellipsis. I wasn't going to submit this one until I received a visit from the ghosts of Karen Carpenter, Kurt Cobain, and KC (from KC and the Sunshine Band), all wearing KC baseball caps. They urged me to proceed. How could I say no? What freaked me out the most about their ghosts visiting me is that the Sunshine Band guy is still alive.
djhat aka Mike HAT Hatfield - May 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Great song; Great Parody. I love good parodies and good mixture of pop music and comedy. Excellant production,timing and sound. I've been a Disc Jockey for 37 years, since 1973. I love to locate an MP3 or CD of this tune Thanks and keep up the good work.
Spaff.com - June 17, 2010 - Report this comment
djhat: Thanks! So didja get it?

Everyone else: Watch for this soon on TheFuMP.com!
Andria - June 19, 2010 - Report this comment
I could *kind of* get the gist of this song, and the answer to what Karen Carpenter smells like are: Currently, she smells like any other long-buried corpse. Before her death, most likely like alcohol, illegal drugs, vomit and Ipecac. (she died as a result of Ipecac abuse). 5s.
Spaff.com - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Just between you and me, ipecac is waaaaay down on my "things to abuse next" list.
Jennifer - June 13, 2014 - Report this comment
Been done: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CM6o3lr0LbM

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