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Song Parodies -> "Wal-Mart Greeter"

Original Song Title:

"Cat Scratch Fever"

Original Performer:

Ted Nugent

Parody Song Title:

"Wal-Mart Greeter"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This parody is dedicated to the people who stand by the inside of the entryways of Wal-Mart stores and say "Hi. Welcome to Wal-Mart" and "Thank you for visiting Wal-Mart. Please come again." thousands of times a day. I find them to be very annoying, but since most are elderly or handicapped, they need jobs too, so I bear no grudges against them despite being repetitive and irritating. They are called the Wal-Mart Greeters. Enjoy! *I was born in 1980, and the first Wal-Mart where I live opened in the summer of 1995. I was thus 15 years of age at the time, and I was at the grand opening. I was greeted at the doors by countless elderly, handicapped and/or immigrant Wal-Mart employees so many times from that day on and was irked to the point that I made a habit of listening to a Walkman or Ipod whenever I went to Wal-Mart and have now switched to K-Mart, Target and Dollar General.
Well, I don't know why they want to
But they certainly do
They always say hi to me
And I don't know how they stand it
But they sure do it good
And they ain't doin' it for free

They are the Wal-Mart Greeters
Wal-Mart Greeters

Well, the first time that I saw them, I was 15 years old*
I saw them right by the front door
Well, I thought they were annoying
And I walked right on by
Then it wracked my brain more

They are the Wal-Mart Greeters
Wal-Mart Greeters

I hate the Wal-Mart Greeters
Wal-Mart Greeters

They take it serious
But they wrack my brain

I know they're happy
'Cause they drive me insane

I know they can be nice, or at least they can try
But it's drilled into their heads

Well, I made the Waltons rich
When I shopped at their stores
They got lots of money from me
But the greeters just don't know
How annoying they can be
But yet I ignored them

I hate the Wal-Mart Greeters
Wal-Mart Greeters
Now I'm a K-Mart Shopper

K-Mart Shopper
K-Mart Shopper
K-Mart Shopper
K-Mart Shopper
K-Mart Shopper

Happy Holidays!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.5
How Funny: 2.3
Overall Rating: 2.4

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   7
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

McKludge - December 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Geez, an old guy saying "Hello" to you is enought to make you stop going to Wal-Mart? I stopped going there because of crappy products and the crazy clientele.

This was a good title sub, but the humor was a little flat. Some funny examples of their annoyance or antics might add to it. 534
alvin - December 22, 2008 - Report this comment
i always thought this was a strange occurence too....i guess walmart feels the need to seem friendlly...they oughta have a guy greeting you on the way out saying "thanks for your cash "
Andria - December 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, McKludge and Alvin
Andria - December 22, 2008 - Report this comment
FYI, McKludge, the other reason that I switched to Kmart, Dollar General and Target was because of the customers, just as you said.
AFW - December 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Good job with an unusual subject
Christie Marie M - December 23, 2008 - Report this comment
We always shop at Wal-Mart while we vacation in Florida. I love shopping at Wal-Mart. My parents do grocery shopping there most of the time while my bro and I shop for DVD's and video games. Unfortunately, there's no Wal-Mart at my hometown, so I have to stick with Target instead, but no big deal. Anyways, good parody you wrote. So hilarious, and yep, Wal-Mart greeters could be annoying sometimes. 5's. P.S. I happen to be born in the same year as you are from the top comments.
The Walton's Ass(ociate) - December 23, 2008 - Report this comment
When a customer accidently makes the beeper go off is the moment they get to have the passion of giving that customer a hard time those people also love to yell at anyone who needs a cart for actual work to get to work or those people give me a dirty look if I go near a customer or if I return a cart when the elderly cleaners are in the same area to not get a dirty look you have to pretend you get approval from the greeter and those greeters love to hand out those s***ty smiley faces or slow down customers with those thingys that do not make the beeper go off when a customer needs to return an item.
Andria - December 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, all. I've made the beeper go off more than once, and it sucks.
Kat - July 24, 2010 - Report this comment
I didn't really like it. It wasn't funny, I found it offensive, and if people saying hello and goodbye annoy you then you're just weird. >:P
Andria - July 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks for your opinion, Kat. As for being weird, I've been called worse.

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