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Song Parodies -> "Cream Cheese Danish"

Original Song Title:

"Cat Scratch Fever"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Ted Nugent

Parody Song Title:

"Cream Cheese Danish"

Parody Written by:

Andria

The Lyrics

This parody is for you, Alvin Rhodes, now that I know how much you love cream-cheese Danishes, having read parody comments professing his love for them. I also enjoy Danishes, although I am more likely to eat half-a-dozen glazed doughnuts and wash them down with Diet Pepsi Max, much to the displeasure of my physician and to the detriment of my already compromised heart and pancreas. Enjoy, one and all! *The final stanza of Verse 8 refers to a myocardial infarction, more commonly known as a heart attack. Infarction means "death of an organ" or something similar, as far as I know, because a myocardial infarction is dead tissue in one's heart, and a "Helmsman" refers to the once-ubiquitous Helms bread-van drivers of Southern California. I am not from California, but I am an antique-truck buff and have seen restored Helms bread vans at shows and have heard stories about them.
Well, they come from donut shops and Seven-'Leven Stores
They've sure got calories in hordes
Svenhard's, Entenmann's and Tastykake
Well, I don't know how I like 'em
But they sure do taste good
I only buy 'em for me

They're called Cream Cheese Danish
Cream Cheese Danish

Well, the first time that I ate one
I was just a little kid
I got it from the Circle K Store
Well, I went back again and got more
They ran my bank account poor

They're called Cream Cheese Danish
Cream Cheese Danish

I love 'em, Cream Cheese Danish
Cream Cheese Danish

They're nothin' dangerous
Unless your doc
Diagnosed you di-abetic

You know you are addicted
When you're morbid obese
It makes a person die
When it kills your heart dead*

Well, I make the Helmsmen* rich
When I buy up all they have
They sell cream-cheese Danish to me
And they know just where to go
To find their best customer

I buy their Cream Cheese Danish
Cream Cheese Danish
They sell me Cream Cheese Danish

Cream Cheese Danish
Cream Cheese Danish
Cream Cheese Danish
Cream Cheese Danish
Cream Cheese Danish




Happy Holidays!

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 4
 4
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   5
 5
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
lmao....thank you SO much......i just had tone his morning and well as monday morning and tuesday morning.......gave a little piece to my cat , allie, too...she loves them as well....worth having a heart attack for...i can remember the helms man very well....shows you how old i am...although i didn't eat them back then cause i thought they would taste like cheese....you rock, thanks again
Andria - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, you rock too, and I hope that your cat doesn't get sick off of the Danishes. I'm glad you enjoyed this parody.
alvin - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
i just gave her a little tiny piece
Andria - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
I gave my mom's cat a piece of a Twinkie about the size of a quarter with some filling attached, and despite all the crap that they pump into them so that they will supposedly last forever, he didn't get sick.
alvin - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
allie really enjoys popcorn but she only gets a litle bit every once in a while...i DO share my chicken noodle cuo-o-soup with her (when its cooled down a little)
LittleCupCakes - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
My fav AM food: Adams Crunchy peanutButter on Ryetoast, washed down with PEET's cafe! . . . Oh, how I could go for it now, Sir Alvin !
Andria - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thank you, LCC, but I am the one who wrote this parody, I just dedicated it to Alvin and wrote it about his favorite breakfast pastry.
TJC - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Confection perfection!
Andria - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, TJC.
Christie Marie M - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Let me tell you, I was extremely indulged by your parody, Andria!! I was supposed to go on a diet, but when it comes to sweets and pastries, I would never say no to them. So I figured, to hell with the calories. Sweet parody you wrote! 5's. BTW, I went to the Circle K while I was in Florida for two weeks and not only did I buy a cream cheese danish, I also got some brownies and coffee cakes as well.
Andria - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks for the compliment, Christie Marie, although you cannot get full of anything but enjoyment and laughter from parodies because you cannot eat or drink a parody. By the way, my doctor advised me to go on a diet since I weigh over 200 pounds and have a family history of heart problems and diabetes, but I tossed all caution into the wind, so to speak, and still live off of junk food. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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