Well his belly's hangin over his cheap pair of pants
There is a rip in his seat
And that ugly cummerbund has got to be four feet long
He hasn't ever seen his feet

He's just a fat ass waiter, fat ass waiter

Now when he brought me my meal there were bites taken out
Spaghetti sauce all over his face
There were bread crumbs in my soda and I swore then and there
I'd never return to this place

Cuz he's a fat ass waiter, fat ass waiter
Drooled on my mashed potaters, you fat ass waiter

He's always hungry, can't eat his fill
Should try a diet pill
He weighs 400, smells like road kill
Just please bring me my bill, bill, you're gonna make me ill

Well he went ahead and belched while he was pouring my wine
Farted as I took my first sip
Now I know the standard gratitude is 15%
But he'll be getting no tip

Cuz he's a fat ass waiter, fat ass waiter
Drooled on my mashed potaters, that fat ass waiter