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Song Parodies -> "They All Want To Kill Me"

Original Song Title:

"If You Really Love Me"

Original Performer:

Stevie Wonder

Parody Song Title:

"They All Want To Kill Me"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Australia is seriously a real life Death World. Thank God I live in the city, where the only dangerous things are the occasional big spider and massive stupidity.
Well, they all want to kill me, someone help me
Yes, they all want to kill me, wildlife's deadly
Yeah, they all want to kill me, very deadly
The outback's not for me
Death all around

Could try to name
Aaall the things
That are so very deadly
It could take all year
There's spiders, lots of snakes
They're all out to get me
You say they're afraid of me
Kinda hard to care when my leg's turning blue

And they all want to kill me, oh so deadly
Yeah, they all want to kill me, sometimes fuzzy
Oh, they all want to kill me, I'm so crazy
To live in this death trap
Death all around

You say "stay out of the wild
Take a break for a while
Go to the beach, buddy"
No damn way, bro
Sea's full of deadly life
Sharks and swimming knives
Jellyfish that kill in four seconds

Yeah, they all want to kill me, super deadly
Man, they all want to kill me, not so lucky
Oh, they all want to kill me, it's so crazy
It's concentrated death
All in one land, bro
All Down Under, bro
Not going out, bro
No damn way
It isn't safe, bro
Think it's better to go, buddy
To where, buddy?
To Mordor, bro
Well, that's the second parody I've written that references Dylan Moran's "swimming knives" bit. Apparently in the book series Discworld, there exists an Australia stand-in world called XXXX, and Death asks the magic library for a list of everything deadly there. Cue gigantic pile of books crashing on his head. When he asks for a list of the non-deadly creatures, he gets a single piece of paper that says "some of the sheep". Comedy!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

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Matthias - March 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Wish you could have expanded this to add a lot more of the creatures that can kill you in Australia since there are countless. I liked the inclusion of "swimming knives" and "jellyfish that can kill in 4 seconds" just wish there was more stuff like that in here
Christie Marie M - March 28, 2012 - Report this comment
(Ages Final) This is the first time I heard this OS and I loved it!! Yes, great examples of how some creatures can be deadly and dangerous. I haven't been to Australia yet, so I haven't experienced this "death world", but I could only think of such deadly animals like the kangaroos who kick occasionally, alligators and crocs, and some other marsupials. Lions and tigers and bears....oh my!!! (LOL!!) Such animals that also kill! Never forget Steve Irwin's encounter with the "swimming knife". It also got me thinking of how Popeye battled animals on certain episodes...if only he would eat spinach and take on those deadly animals that kill!! ;) Hope you'd kill for these 555's!!
Porfle Popnecker - March 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Good one.
Abbott Skelding - March 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Nice work! I'm most terrified of preying mantises...they just freak me the hell out. Nice job!
Arwen - March 29, 2012 - Report this comment one point I thought Australia would be a dream vacation...but now I'm having second thoughts. I'm going back to Disneyland!
Blaydeman - March 30, 2012 - Report this comment
(AofA) I thought this was really cool. I would've also liked to read abut more critters, but this was still really good! And you can't go wrong with Stevie!

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