Song Parodies -> President Arwen
| Original Song Title: | "Rock 'n' Me" |
| Original Performer: | Steve Miller |
| Parody Song Title: | "President Arwen" |
| Parody Written by: | Michael Pacholek |
It could never happen. Not because she's a woman, or because she's short, or because she's (admittedly) a tad clumsy, or because she (admittedly) can't pick a suitable First Gentleman, or because (I think) she has not yet reached the Constitutional age requirement of 35 years, or because of her status as an Elven-American (or is that "Elfin-American"?), or because of the Constitutional implications of a President with magic powers (how do you check-and-balance that?), or even because of her apparent monarchist sympathies (that whole "Princess" theme). It's because, as a resident of Wyoming, she can count on only three Electoral Votes. Where's she gonna get the other 267 she'll need? But, if it were possible, just imagine... And she has said she's a Steve Miller fan, so here goes...
(instrumental opening)
Well, you've been lookin' real hard, and you're trying to find a job
but it's gonna get much easier the day
she's sworn into the part, because deep down in her heart
she's gonna create jobs with better pay.
Now, I ain't superstitious, and just don't get suspicious
but this President's a friend of mine.
And I know that it's true, 'cause all the things that she'll do
will make her "Person of the Year" in "Time."
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Won votes in Phoenix, Arizona, and a few in Tacoma
Philadelphia, Atlanta, L.A.
Wyoming turning blue, its days as red State are through
and all the people cheering for her, "YAY!"
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Baby, baby, baby!
She'll be rockin'!
Rockin' the White House!
She'll be rockin'!
Rockin' the White House!
Hoo-oo-woo, hoo-woo-woo!
She'll fix the health care, bring real reform to welfare
and she'll end that lousy war of George Bush.
And you know that it's true, if al-Qaeda comes anew
she's gonna kick those boys right in their tush!
The environment is tragic, she'll fix it just like magic
so we'll still have clean air into future day.
Gonna raise your taxes, but you won't grind any axes
'cause you're under her spell and you'll say:
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President, President
baby, baby, baby!
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President, President
baby, baby, baby!
(repeat 'til fade)
Well, you've been lookin' real hard, and you're trying to find a job
but it's gonna get much easier the day
she's sworn into the part, because deep down in her heart
she's gonna create jobs with better pay.
Now, I ain't superstitious, and just don't get suspicious
but this President's a friend of mine.
And I know that it's true, 'cause all the things that she'll do
will make her "Person of the Year" in "Time."
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Won votes in Phoenix, Arizona, and a few in Tacoma
Philadelphia, Atlanta, L.A.
Wyoming turning blue, its days as red State are through
and all the people cheering for her, "YAY!"
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Baby, baby, baby!
She'll be rockin'!
Rockin' the White House!
She'll be rockin'!
Rockin' the White House!
Hoo-oo-woo, hoo-woo-woo!
She'll fix the health care, bring real reform to welfare
and she'll end that lousy war of George Bush.
And you know that it's true, if al-Qaeda comes anew
she's gonna kick those boys right in their tush!
The environment is tragic, she'll fix it just like magic
so we'll still have clean air into future day.
Gonna raise your taxes, but you won't grind any axes
'cause you're under her spell and you'll say:
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President, President
baby, baby, baby!
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President Arwen.
Yeah, yeah, she's President, President
baby, baby, baby!
(repeat 'til fade)
I'm Michael Pacholek, and I not only approved this message, I wrote it. Of course, any day now, I expect the "Fellowship Hobbits for Truth" to run attack ads, but what are they gonna do? She's got Legolas (Orlando Bloom) as her Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff! Bring it on!
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User Comments Follow...
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Personally, I'm voting Chuck Mangione for president.
both of you get my vote today
Oh Michael...=) My political aspirations have never been anything other than to be the Queen of the World...but for heaven's sake...you've inspired me to maybe explore other avenues.
You're right about the age thing, though...I'm only 31, thank you very much. I'm not planning to ever turn 35, either. I'm staying 31 forever. You know...immortality and all that...; )
You're right about the age thing, though...I'm only 31, thank you very much. I'm not planning to ever turn 35, either. I'm staying 31 forever. You know...immortality and all that...; )
Ha! Look at all those 1s, not just my own! You really think we'd let a woman be President? Not even Ann Coulter! You really think your liberal elf can be President, Mikey? You must REALLY believe in magic! Fortunately, we conservatives live in the real world, and so does President-to-be Giuliani! Maybe we can send some of his boys in blue to see your elf. I hear she likes men in uniform. If only she supported our troops like the great President Bush does! We're gonna win this war in spite of you and Arwen, Mikey! And the Yankees suck, too!
Oh, Bernard, where to begin... The cops, and the firemen, hate Giuliani now because they know he did nothing for them, unless they shot unarmed black men, in which case he kept them out of jail. And considering that Arwen's current celebrity squeeze is a multicultural star of a show called "Prison Break," I don't think she'd dump them for any friends of Rudy's or yours. She's smarter than that. And until your team can win a World Series against mine, or against anyone else since your boy Ronnie's Iran-contra scheme was revealed (1986), don't talk about baseball. You don't need any further proof of why this country could use a woman in the White House, even if Hillary isn't an Elf.
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This is view # 146
King Biscuit Flower Hour Presents the Steve Miller Band album at Amazon.com
Number 5 album at Amazon.com
