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Song Parodies -> "Ricky Won't Cruise That Humber"

Original Song Title:

"Rikki Don't Lose That Number"

Original Performer:

Steely Dan

Parody Song Title:

"Ricky Won't Cruise That Humber"

Parody Written by:

Andy Primus

The Lyrics

The Humber is a river in the north east of England
We hear it’s heavin’ boats will sway
I think a heavy rain storm has just begun
I hope the sail I sewed is safe: no twine undone
For if it could be blown apart

Ricky won’t cruise that Humber
He don’t wanna fall into the swells
Have to call for a netter: bring more pelf
Ricky won’t cruise that Humber
He’s the moanly one: I groan
He might lose it if it gets wetter
An’ stay at home

I have a fear I’ll drown: he’s slurred with blame
When we go out sailing I show heart though
If I play it snide it way maims: he won’t go
It’s off to have a beer he’ll dart

Ricky that booze will cumber
We all know a brew an’ toddy quells
When you quaff you’re a wetter of yourself
Ricky that booze will cumber
It can only stun your bone
You might lose it: you’d be no getter
When we got home

You tell yourself I’m so unkind
An’ then you go an’ blow your mind
When brewed you are a klutz at heart

Ricky don’t bruise that lumbar
You don’t wanna fall: no body ills
Seen it all as a fretter of your self
Ricky don’t booze an’ lumber
To a broken bone you’re prone
They can’t fuse it an’ make things better
We’ll stay at home

Tricky: can’t fuse that lumbar
(Tricky: can’t fuse that lumbar)
Tricky: can’t fuse that lumbar

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
GREAT OS! Just saw Steely Dan last week in NYC, and they still rock! Enjoyed the cruise...
Andria - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Great job there, Andy. I thought that your parody was about the British car called a Humber, as in the 1963 Super Snipe (which my neighbor owned at one time and hated), and I will give you 5s for your good work.
Fiddlegirl - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
A seaworthy parody, Mr. Primus-- even if the same can't be said for Ricky. Perhaps we could introduce him to Guy's friend Sue...
AFW - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Interesting phrasing and words, here
@Fiddlegirl-friend - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
LOL - Ricky & Sue. It could happen.

Boozy Sue's author.
Guy - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Andy - I love this OS and have written parody to it as well. You did some great word play in this and I'm learning a lot of UK slang - this parody has a fair share of UK slang in it. and you write well enough for me to glean the meanings from the slang words used. I detect Cottony in a lot of what you write. South London area you're locale now or at one time?

I like to paste the parody lyrics right over the OS to get it as close to the OS as possible. You do this well and I like writing and reading in this style. You're really good at this. Triple nickels.
Andy Primus - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Mark (lucky you!), Andria (I've driven one and I didn't think much of it either), Fiddle (laughed at your comment), AFW

& Guy - Not sure what you mean by Cottony but you were spot on with the location, I lived in South London (Wimbledon, where the tennis is from) for over 40 years before moving to the rural Midlands to escape the rat race. Now living in a small town in the Derbyshire Dales. If you meant Cockney then that was a pretty good guess as well, I speak with that accent although true Cockney is the East End of London. Anyone from outside of the region would think it all sounds the same but a true Cockney old timer would know that I'm from London but not really a Cockney.
As far as slang goes, I do use a lot in my parodies but not so much with this one. If you mean words like pelf & cumber they aren't slang but archaic words that are no longer commonly used. I also like making words up like netter & moanly as long as I'm confident that others will know what I mean by them. Of the slang in this one klutz is American only (but I hear it a lot on the TV) and bone & brewed are the British ones (should be obvious what they mean).

I've noticed as well that we go about writing a parody in the same way (except I like to be a bit more rude/crude than you). I have a question for you if you see this comment. Do you ever find it limiting in what lines you can come up with by trying to rhyme as many of the key words as possible? I like to rhyme entire lines at a time but it can be hard to make a good story out of it. A good example is one I did a few weeks back where I changed "Watch the jingle jangle start to shine" to "Crotch the thing'll mangle: start to whine". I'm not a writer so for me, doing a parody is like doing a really complicated puzzle.

If you've got time to read 2 parodies (don't bother if you haven't) here's an example of what I mean. I did Johnny B. Goode/Granny, Be Good and stuck as close as I could to the original sounds all the way through. 6 days later Jeff Reuben did Johnny B. Goode/Granny B. Goode without trying to rhyme anything so he had the chance to come up with the funnier lines. - mine - Jeff's
Guy - August 11, 2009 - Report this comment
I did mean Cockney and I used to guess at the spelling. Cottony was on the list. I guess I copied & pasted the wrong word. But yes I did detect Cockney in your writing. I have a knack for language. My father's parents immigrated to the US from Napoli Italy. My grandmother only spoke English when she had to, not that she couldn't, she just didn't need to at home and in the Italian neighborhood where we lived. So I learned to speak English and Italian at the same time. I took Spanish in school for two years, never cracked a book and never received less than a "A" from homework assignments to final exams. I lived for over three years in Japan and learned enough of that tongue to get by fairly easily. And yes I was going to mention to you that you try to rhyme every word possible in a parody upto and including entire lines. I was going to tell you that I do that sometimes and that it's a trade off sometimes about being really funny or being more like a mocking bird. More often I go for the mockingbird and now that you mentioned it doing this is like working some sort of puzzle.

I used to be really rude and crude when I first started writing - I found that it more often gets negative attention than positive. Now I just try to be SNL funny. It seems to be working better for me. I will check out your two parodies - I'm not sure but I may have checked one of them and maybe neglected to leave a comment. I will read and comment but I need to get ready for work and most likely I'll get to them after work today or in the very near future. Meantime a very good example of my mocking bird style is in this parody called "Rhapsody":

This one cost me points in a parody competition on the messageboards. In another example of mocking bird style it worked well for me in "Unda Da See" and pulled off the gold medal in the Sep 2008 Song of the Month comp. The link to this one is:

Give a look when you get time. And I guess it can be left unsaid that I do indeed like your style
Guy - August 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Andy - As I suspected I did read one of these parodies back in May - it was the one Jeff wrote. See my comment on yours.
Andy Primus - August 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Guy - have you ever been to Napoli yourself? I was there in October 1989 as part of my round Europe van trip. We stayed the night in a town on the outskirts called Pozzuoli. I don't know if there was a council strike going on but the whole of Napoli was dirty & smelly with mounds of rubbish dumped everywhere - we only stopped off for a couple of hours the following day to have a walk round the harbour and see the castle. We then continued along the coast (climbing to the top of Mount Vesuvius the following day & seeing Pompei the day after that) on our way to Sicily. Napoli was still stinking a month later on our way back up so we didn't stop.
Andy Primus - August 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Guy - PS You said that you used to be rude and crude at first but then you toned them down. Roughly how many before you mellowed? This was my 100th posting and if anything they're getting ruder (although this one was a bit mellow for me)
TJC - August 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Nifty nautical spoofin'... interesting verbiage... well 'crafted'...
Andy Primus - August 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks TJC

& Guy - 1988 not 1989 (so long ago it's all a bit of a blur)

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