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Song Parodies -> "Stuck To My Member With Glue"

Original Song Title:

"Stuck In The Middle With You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Stealer's Wheel

Parody Song Title:

"Stuck To My Member With Glue"

Parody Written by:

Charlie Decker

The Lyrics

Well I don't know who I should call tonight
I got to feelin', what mom says ain't right
I'm so scared, can't move my hand from down there
And my grandma's calling me from downstairs
Paste to the left of me, lotion to the right
Here I am, stuck to my member with glue

Yes I'm stuck to my member with glue
And I'm wonderin' what they'd say if they knew
Would they help me get through my own disgrace?
Or would they laugh, not hiding mirth from their face?
Paste to the left of me, lotion to the right
Here I am, stuck to my member with glue

Well it started with a Hustler
Now I've civilly unioned my hand
And my friends are all forgotten
Oh why the wrong tube did I
Squeeze...squeeze...

Indeed, I did the Mighty Wang Chung
Choked the sherrif, wait for the posse to come
It's not cool, yet I declared Civil War
I held the sausage hostage, buttered the corn
Paste to the left of me, lotion to the right
Here I am, stuck to my member with glue

Well it started with a Hustler
Now I've civilly unioned my hand
And my friends are all forgotten
Oh why the wrong tube did I
Squeeze...squeeze...

Well I'm stuck without a paddle tonight
I think a paddle wouldn't help (it might)
I'm too scared to call the doc, he would stare
It's not true, that in self-love all is fair
Paste to the left of me, lotion to the right
Here I am, stuck to my member with glue
Yes I'm stuck to my member with glue
Stuck to my member with glue

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 0
 0
 
 5   19
 21
 21
 

User Comments

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Peter Andersson - June 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Alternate soundtrack for American Pie 2, huh? :-)
Michael Pacholek - June 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Not healthier than a tube sock. But funny. Because it didn't happen to me. Remember, it's only funny until someone gets hurt. Some would say, "Then it's hilarious."
Red Ant - June 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Masturbating with glue is some sticky shit, apparently.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 19, 2005 - Report this comment
No, that's the intricate art of self-sodomy.
*awaits banishment*
Hilarious stuff, Charles.
Stuart McArthur - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Ha! excellent, Charlie - my favourite one of yours so far - flawless pacing and very funny (I've been wanting to do this OS, but haven't come up with an idea as good as this) - 555
Yet Another Dutchman - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Sometimes, a scenario similar to this one comes up WITHOUT glue. Go figure... 5's
Kristof Robertson - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
You truly are a troubled youth, Charlie...;-) 555
Michael Pacholek - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
It's like they said in "West Side Story," Kristof, though under VERY different circumstances: "The trouble is he's growing!"... "The trouble is he's grown!"
alvin rhodes - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
painfully funny...5s
Patrick Yoness - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
I hate it when that happens...
Alex Morris - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Fantastic, sir. 5's all round.
Dumb Ass Kid - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Loved it so much I read it twice! (no, seriously, I read it twice). Thanks a bunch for making chosing 5 songs even harder >: ( 555
Leo Jay - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Charlie: the only teenaged boy in America who has Hustlers whose pages are actually stuck together with glue. Very, very funny stuff. Well done.
Red Ant - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Already commented. Many good lines in here but I think my favorite is "Held the sausage hostage". Very funny.
Arwen - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--there are just some images of you that I don't want to have in my head, Charlie...good thing this made me laugh!
Peter Andersson - July 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Already voted and commented. Still kept me stuck to my chair while checking it out.
Agrimorfee - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You took it back from Tarantino's "Reservoir Dogs" ear-slicing segment, but inserted a brand new ghastly image to think of! Thanks! :0 Sereiously, great parody.
Charlie Decker - July 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks a lot, everybody.

Was it as good for you as it was for me? (Yes, double reference!)
Mike (Mike Armstrong) - July 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Delightfully absurd, very funny
Dr. Bob - July 16, 2005 - Report this comment
that is actually a pretty cute song. funny title. nicely done.
Dee Range - July 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Fantastic, Charlie. I have the very same subject matter in my own "AY YI YI YI"
Jeff Reuben - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS, but funny!
Stuart McArthur - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(sotm) already commented and brilliantly funny, Charlie - loved how you got "Squee-eeze" in there and also the line "It's not true, that in self-love all is fair" - very clever
Rick C - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Sorry I missed this when it posted. Some great lines here...555
Spaff.com - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
A super glue story! About Charlie Decker's gnarly pecker! Many lines that stick! (But "civilly unioned my hand" has got to be my fave.) And the please/squeeze sub is paste-perfect.
Johnny D - July 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) YIKES ;-)
Tim Mayfield - July 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Fastenating subject matter. 5's
Phil Alexander - July 29, 2005 - Report this comment
This one must have been hard to write... keeping the tears out of your eyes, for example :-) Still, at least it wasn't superglue...
Kristof Robertson - July 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I still can't read this without feeling a little uncomfortable. Great stuff!
Mikey Squirrel - July 31, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM.. When I first saw the title, I admit I thought of American Pie 2. Then after reading it, I thought of a friend of mine who had a similiar situation, only replace the glue with Rub A5-35 and well.. you get the idea. Well done, Charlie. 555
2nz - July 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Heh heh, you were in trouble because you gave yourself a hand. That's a sticky situation, and funny too. Nice one.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Get a grip on yourself, man. Still chuckling...

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