Madonna is a girl who knows what's going down
'Cause she's done lots of videos with lots of boys around
She kisses and she hugs 'em and gets lifted off the ground
It's fun to watch those videos - but please turn down the sound
We've seen 'em fondle 'er, Yeah, fondle 'er
She's been around around around around around

There's Britney on her left, and there's Christina on her right
But when I saw them kissing, it was quite a gruesome sight
Brit says she's a virgin, well, she hasn't got a hope
'Cause if Britney is a virgin, then I'm the frigging Pope
We've seen 'em fondle 'er, Yeah, fondle 'er
She's been around around around around around

Oh well I saw them both on stage
Dressed in some skimpy kit
Thought "At least they're over-age"
And just what they get up to - do I really give a shit?

They're both that kind of girl and they're at that kind of stage
They both will do just what it takes to get on the front page
They're getting their publicity by kissing some young girl
And, thanks to the internet, pix fly round the world
We've seen her fondle 'er, Yeah, fondle 'er
She's been around around around around around

Britney is a girl with a tendency to flirt
I've seen her on TV, the camera pointing up her skirt
Now, you could call me cynical and maybe I am wrong
But surely record sales ought to be more about the song?
We've seen 'em fondle 'er, Yeah, fondle 'er
She's been around around around around around
We've seen 'em fondle 'er, Yeah, fondle 'er
She's been around around around around around