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Song Parodies -> "Traces Of Martian Water"

Original Song Title:

"Bridge Over Troubled Water"

Original Performer:

Simon and Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"Traces Of Martian Water"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

NASA proudly announced their discovery just minutes ago.
There are thirsty
Children small
Whose tears are in
Their eyes

Who'll dry them all?

Who's on their side?
Their times are rough

And funds just can't be found

One bill-ion
To find
Martian water

That's what we laid down

One bill-ion
To find
Martian water

That's what we laid down


Some are down and out
Some are on the street

When evening falls
So hard

Who will see them through?

Who'll take their part,
When hunger comes?

Though tears like rain
Fall down

One bill-ion
To find
Martian water

That's what we laid down

One bill-ion
To find
Martian water

That's what we laid down


Wail on thirsty girl
Wail and cry

Your well has run
So dry
But no help is on its way

World's greatest minds,
(Oh) Press-release, again...

They're saying "We did find!"

Ancient traces
of
Martian water

And it pleased their minds!

Ancient traces
of
Martian water

Does it ease your mind?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
amen
Jan Unwin - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, Johnny. Well said. 5-5-5
Guy - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
For some reason this parody made me thirsty.
Rick D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I like this so much, I may perform it at one of our Thursday bashes. Even though I am in favor of the space program, I just love it when you go all shmaltzy.
Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you Royce, Jan, Guy, and Rick D.

Rick - I am in favor of the space program, too. Everybody - believe it or not - I am in favor of humanity putting billions of dollars into intelligently-planned space exploration ..... but ..... at the same time ...... I want to see humanity put even GREATER resources of money, brainpower, and compassionate effort into alleviating the suffering of our brothers and sisters here on the good Earth.......yes, we can have our cake and eat it too, if we just freakin' work together instead of picking fights with each other. Thank you for bearing with me as I vent. Peace.
The Great Karlando - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I couldn't picture Bob Dylan singing the original, but I can see him singin this one. Sounds like a Dylan-like protest song. Good job man.
2nz - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm gonna say temporary DKTOS, and start my hunt for the song when I get off work today. See ya later, Johnny.
David Chrenko - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Very funny and timely, Johnny D. I think we can now surmise what happened on Mars. A once lush, green, planet was reduced to a red dustbowl through the depletion of its rainforests by greedy Martian corporations.
Rice Cube - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I like it. Good parody idea and original song too.
Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, TGK, 2nz, David, and Rice!

Ooops, somebody's cookies might not have been on - there's one vote that appears not to have registered.... folks, please check when you get a chance - thanks very much!
Adagio - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny...I'm going to have to ditto what you said about having our cake and eating it too if we freakin' work. In fact, take your whole paragraph and pretend that I wrote it....:D Very good! 5's
Ethan Mawyer - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job johnny... i gave you 5-3-5 because i didn't find it particularly funny but it's well written and pretty powerful and certainly doesn't deserve under a 3 in any category. I actually wrote a parody about what could potentially have happened to the martians (although mine is clearly science fiction and this isn't) and i think it's one of the most underrated parodies i've done. It's called "alien invasion" and most of you probably don't know the original but i'd apprecite it if some of you would read it as a pom and leave comments to say what you think about it.
Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Adagio and Ethan.

Ethan - I will indeed check out your "Alien Invasion" parody and comment on it - you may have seen the evidence of my examination of your work recently - my votes and comments throughout the first part of your catalog - so you can be assured I will keep my word. Take a look a little later today.
Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
OK, Ethan, you'll see I'm a man of my word - I invite you to check out my comments on your parody "Alien Invasion".
alvin rhodes - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
quite poignant......5s
Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Alvin.
Paul Robinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - Now sometimes the word "brilliant" gets tossed around too easy...but not in this case. This one is, well, brilliant...wait no it;s not, it's BRILLIANT!!!!....There, that's better. I also agree most wholeheartedly with your comments from around noon today on this screen. Couldn't have said it better myself, although I certainly could (and would) have used quite a few more words. Ethan, I'm going to take a look at your "Alien Invasion" item in a minute. I'm ALMOST ashamed to admit that when I read your note above to Johnny and I saw that you asked it be read as a "pom" if DKTOS that my not quite 20/20 eyes anymore read that mispelling of "poem" as "porn" and I was suddenly more than mildly curious. But, hey, I like "poems" or "poms", too. Have even written some myself. You know, now that I look at them again "pom" and "porn" look virtually identical to me on the screen. There is only the tiniest of space between the "r" and the "n" in "porn" when I view it here. Maybe I need to increase the print size in my screen-view. Or get reading glasses.....YUCK.....increase the screen-view size!
Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Paul..... did your vote register? I'm not sure the count changed.
Jeff Reuben - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Well written, although I'm very in favor of the space program (and now I've read that you are too)...and I'd like to see them proceed intelligently.
Paul Robinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - Went back and tried to vote again, count stayed at 13, so it must have counted my first click. It might be my imagination but I think the site is picking up the vote postings somewhat strangely. At one point today the votes and comments on my current posting didn't seem to add up but when I went back a little later they did. On the other hand unless I actually were to write down the number of votes at a certain point it's hard for me to be sure of anything in that realm.
Jonathan C. - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Gee, Martian water! What a great discovery! And I always thought NASA was spending money for nothing. ::)
Steven Cavanagh - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
And they didn't even find water! Only compounds that *could have* formed in water. Which was magically transformed by the media into proof of life within hours...
Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Jeff, Paul, Jonathan C., and Steven.
Jack Wilson - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Johnny!
Johnny D - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Jack!
Phil Alexander - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellently written, JD.
Johnny D - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Phil.
Birgitta - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thought provoking and raw.Well done Johnny.
Johnny D - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Birgitta.
mac - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Sail on space program... rockets fly...
Johnny D - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Cap'n mac!
Meriadoc - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent Johnny! I've been saying this for years. But.... where would we be without velcro and TV dinners? :-O ;-D
Johnny D - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Merry - velcro and TV dinners, LOL!
Paul Robinson - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - How in the world (or I should say, "in all of the worlds") did you forget "Tang". 'Course it's not the BEST type of "tang" but I understand you must always keep your Pressurized Space Suit on when you're up in space.
2nz - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Very well done, Johnny. You certainly defend your case about leaving lines untampered-with valiantly.
Johnny D - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you 2nz.
John Jenkins - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Outstanding parody, JD. I find it interesting that British bookies just stopped taking bets about whether life once existed on Mars. I don't know how many people placed the bet, but the odds decreased from 1,000 to 1 to 16 to 1in the past 30 years before they stopped taking bets this week.
Johnny D - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks JJ. When I heard that NASA was going to announce "significant findings" about Mars later that day, I began to wonder if maybe they'd actually found a fossil of some kind of shellfish. When I heard that the discovery was an array of minerals that could only be explained by the presence of ancient water, I was a little disappointed...but it's still fascinating.
Grace Hampton - March 11, 2004 - Report this comment
The right thing at the right time. The heads of government really do have their heads up their butts where their priorities are concerned.
Peregrin - March 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry I'm late, JD. A-Lo-Ha! Right on!
Johnny D - March 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Grace and Peregrin........ two of you posted comments yet only one additional vote appeared..... please double-check - thanks, folks!

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