He was tired of his lady.
I know that sounds kinda wrong.
Worse, he made a recording
of a horrible song.
See, she was already cheating
through an ad classified.
But he still didn't know it.
He was quite stupefied.

Well, I like pina coladas.
But not this song, I'll explain.
He's a guy who's a cheater.
He doesn't have half a brain.
And he likes making love at midnight
but he cast off his mate.
Rupert Holmes wrote this bad song.
It's one that I really hate!

He didn't think about his lady.
I know that sounds obvious.
But he and his old lady
when it comes to brains, they both missed the bus.
So he picked up a pencil.
Took out a personal ad.
Proved he was nobody's poet.
It was much more than half-bad.

Yes, I like pina coladas.
But this song is a strain.
And if I hear it one more time
I might throw up again.
I might still feel bad tomorrow, noon
in a nauseous state.
Rupert Holmes wrote this bad song.
It's one that I really hate!

So I met his girlfriend dope
and she walked in the place.
She shook her head for an instant.
A sad look crossing her face.
Said that bum's lovely lady
"Mike, you do not want me.
I was really hot back then.
But now I'm 53."

Yes, I like pina coladas.
But that song is a bane.
I guess they're made for each other.
They are well nigh insane.
They still like making love at midnight.
Did not, thank God, procreate!
Is that the worst song of all time?
It's one that I really hate!

Yes, I like pina coladas.
But that song is a bane.
I guess they're made for each other.
They are well nigh insane.
They still like making love at midnight.
Did not, thank God, procreate!
Is that the worst song of all time?
It's one that I really hate!