Spent some time bein' a baker
Tryin' hard not to be a faker
Baked the cakes a thousand ways
But they'd end up tasting just the same
Daddy said, "Son, your batter tastes so good
I wouldn't have used so much grease
You remembered my boy, you used your head
That raisins are real good in cinnamon bread"
There was no doubt

The kitchen was the place I'd work all day
It was the the place I really fit in
Fresh pastry smelled up the whole place
I fed every good relation
I wanted a bakery all for my own
Got locked out, good credit I'd need
I persisted, inviting my bankers for quiet
Little visits for crumpets and tea
They were amused
Life went on

Wife at home wasn't buying enough
Of the baking soda, yeast and flour
My cooking stunk, but I pressed my luck
I made apple pies, I made pressed duck
But, my boy, your Mom she was
Getting absolute dissatisfaction
"Well, my dear," I said with a tear,
"Maybe donuts will be my main attraction"
She wasn't ready for that, no no

She moved right out--pissed--yeah!
I continued to tarry--mixing cocoa and berries
Frying all the dough back here
I soon found the way to fry donuts safely
And how to dip glaze with a spoon
Your new mom, Lill, she runs the till
She still looks pretty natural
The house now has a deck--and how, by heck?
Oh, baby, I was Smith's Donuts founder!
Oh yeah, I am your Donuts Father!

I truly believe that the work was all from me
And my life is now so complete
Come share a donut with me?

My enemies are stoned, to them I say "Boo!"
Their donuts are so stale and grey
My crullers and long-johns taste so sweet
God, you should be glad I baked them
And the recipe, I will give to you
When you turn into an 18 year-old
I won't talk of Dunkin' s or Krispy Kreme--those geeks
They won't be mentioned in my store!
I make the best of them all--to them I scoff
They don't make good coffee anyway
So remember (just today)

Everybody gets a chocolate donut!
Everybody gets a chocolate donut!
Everybody gets a chocolate donut!
Everybody gets a chocolate donut!
Everybody gets a chocolate donut!
Everybody gets a chocolate donut!
Everybody gets a chocolate donut!
Everybody gets a chocolate donut!