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Song Parodies -> "Maggot Way"

Original Song Title:

"Maggie May"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Rod Stewart

Parody Song Title:

"Maggot Way"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

You've probably heard of doctors using medicinal leeches...Today, medicinal maggots are back in vogue, too: http://www.cnn.com/2004/HEALTH/08/02/maggot.medicine.ap/index.html
(instrumental intro)

Wake up maggots
My patient's got something tas-ty for you

His leg's dismembered
And his mealy wound is black and cruel

I know it'll keep you amused
So guys, feel free, eat and chew

Oh, maggots, until you're all flies, you're adored!

We raised you sterile and clean
Just to save patients from gangrene

You gross us out
But man, you really work


Your work's not done
So pick up your pace
Really chow that phage!

But we won't hurry you none, 'til you're flies, you're wond'rous things!

I gagged at all of you bugs
We love you so much more than drugs

Oh, maggots, until you're all flies, you're adored!

We raised you sterile and clean
Just to save patients from gangrene

You help wounds heal
And patients' pain you remove, no doubt


(brief instrumental break)


All we needed
Were some bugs
To lend
A healing hand

So we turned to you, you buggers,
And mother, you're such buggers, you chowed and chowed

All you did was eat your meal
And in the process sick people would heal

Oh, maggots, until you're all flies, you're adored!

We raised you sterile and clean
Just to save patients from gangrene

You make us barf
We couldn't leave you if we tried


(instrumental break)


I suppose
You were not in the books
That I read back in school

You're real fly babies, cute, and make a living out of cleaning wounds

When flies, we'll turn you loose in a room
With frogs who'll be your doom

Oh maggots, you are so clever, cleanin' waste

You made a first-class tool for gangrene
But we don't mind 'cause you're cool and clean

You gross us out
But we love you anyway!


(long instrumental break - next lines sung over break)


Maggots!
I'm glad I
Got to see your face!

Now get on back home, chow dis-ease phage!

Woo, ooo-ooo!


(instrumental fade)

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 2
 0
 
 5   13
 11
 13
 

User Comments

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Dee Range - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
This cracked me up. High 5's
Adagio - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
I loved this!! I smiled all the way through from the very first line. 5's
mac - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
You're in top form today, Johnny. 5s
Ashkicksass - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
I am telling you right now, that if a doctor put a bunch of maggots on one of my wounds, I would drop dead right then and there from sheer terror and disgust. But great job on the parody!
John Barry - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Phantastic. Phives for "phage."
Cookie-man - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
I think I threw up a little, but not before I gave this parody 555! :)
Adagio - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Hehe, cookie-man :D

Since I know the song, I just half read the top comment...YOU MEAN THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN???!!! Gross!!
Rick D - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't want to hear no weevil, see no weevil.
Meriadoc - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah Johnny! You are truly Lord of the Flies on this one!
The Thought Police - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Time flies heal all wounds!
Johnny D - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, my fellow humans!

Dee: OK!

Adagio: That means, from my point-of-view...Mission Accomplished!

mac: Thanks!

Ashkicksass: Ahhh, you no like cute wittle white squirmy-wormies munching on your wittle boo-boo?

JB: Thanks, you're a true phan!

Cookie-man: TMI, thank you very much not! ;-)

Adagio: Munch...munch...squirm...munch...

Rick: But in your comment you did speak two weevils, didn't you?

Merry: And in this case, flies are not garment accessories!

TTP: And TIME flies like an arrow...and time FLIES like an arrow....and TIME FLIES like AN ARROW....and "TIME FLIES" LIKE an arrow...
Adagio - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Johnny...now I'm going to have nightmares about squirming maggots....:::shudder:::
alvin rhodes - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
my face literally was sore from laughing at this one....bravo !
Paul Robinson - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Alvin - that wouldn't happen to be an OPEN SORE, would it? QUICK, JD, pass the maggot poultice - yeah, and add some minced bug-butt to it, too, we want to make him better in a jiffy. JD - I'm prescribing 5's to cure YOUR sickness, but I don't think it's going to work...
Johnny D - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, alvin and Paul. Who'da thought some little larvae could be so hilarious!
Kristof Robertson - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Disgusting...but cool!! 555
Johnny D - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Kristof!
Paul Robinson - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
JD - One more comment here - "You write LARV-EL-OUS"
Phil Alexander - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Cute one, JD... but surely the phage is the thing that does the eating? (One of these days I'll finish my Rock of Ages/Lytic Phages parody...)
Johnny D - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Paul and Phil.

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