The first time ever I heard a fart,
A sound that ripped the silent pall.
It was a most impressive sound,
That kept bouncing off the walls, my Friends,
And echoed throughout the halls.

The first time ever I smelled a fart,
It was a most gaseous vapor.
That blistered paint off the bathroom wall,
Then, I opened up the door, my Friends,
And it spread all o'er the floor.

The first time ever I let a fart,
I felt the earth move 'neath my feet.
I got rid of a weary load.
Fumigation can't be beat, my Friends,
Fragrant fuzzy oh so sweet.