especially liked the giuliani / irani rhyme

MP---Where to start?? I feel your pain, but you should put it in a letter to the editor of the Daily Kos or al Jazeera, not in a parody. This stuff is supposed to be fun AND funny; in addition, you should never sacrifice craft on the altar of message, no matter how important you feel that your message may be. Unfortunately, too much political parody (mostly from the left in my observation, but I could be wrong) puts the bitterness and anger above the craftsmanship and humor. That's the only way to explain a couplet like 'They're Republicans-- and bad Americans'. First, 'Republicans' doesn't rhyme with 'Americans', doesn't even come close. Plus, while I understand the sentiment you're trying to express, those two lines sound more like the writing assignment of a fifth grader at a progressive elementary school run by investment banker parents who used to be hippies than the finished work of adult parodist. Let me try to help. How about: 'In the GOP, Your only guarantee, Is that everyone is sleazy'. That way, you've not only got a real rhyme, but you've also managed to relieve some monotony by slipping in a variant of 'You Know They All Come Sleazy'. Ringo does the same thing with 'You can even play them easy.' and 'And you know it just ain't easy.', both of which differ from 'You know it don't come easy.' Your McCain couplet: As soon as I see 'hero' I know I'm gonna get 'zero' in the next line. Very ineffective, in my opinion, kills whatever laugh might have been there, and also pretty jejune. Why not try something like this: 'Once McCain served bravely wearing khaki--Now his Gucci suit conceals a Bush Iraqi lackey.' The double rhyme may be a bit over the top, but it works, I think, as well as anything could in that spot given the laugh-killing properties of melisma (i.e., spreading two syllables over three musical notes). As for Rudy: 'Giuliani' and 'Irani' is indeed a nice rhyme, but you've forced it into a place it just doesn't go. 'He'll bring us one Irani' is a confusing line that makes the reader or listener think about what you're trying to say, and by the time they've figured it out, the laugh is gone. (And don't get me started on your accent placement for 'credibility'. Uggghhh.) Well, the first rule of writing is that you have to learn to kill your babies, so let's get rid of that entirely (and remember, you've already covered Iraq with McCain, so if you go after Rudy on the same grounds, I have a right to expect it re Romney; in other words, once you make your first two verses about Iraq, then the song is a GOP/Iraq song, not just a GOP song). How about this: 'Young man Rudy had the tabloids buzzin'---when his fiancee turned out to be his second cousin'. As for Romney: I'm a big fan of jokes about brainpower and the lack thereof, so I like what you're thinking here. Why not try: 'You may like his hair---But under, it's just air.' The 'but' sets up the joke better than just moving right to 'beneath', IMO. Or maybe: 'Under all that hair--there's nothing more than air.' Happy to help.

Good timing in more ways than one.

I sang.