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Song Parodies -> "Old People"

Original Song Title:

"Short People"

Original Performer:

Randy Newman

Parody Song Title:

"Old People"

Parody Written by:

Claude Prez

The Lyrics

No clever satire here; I mean EVERY WORD.
Old people got -- arthritis
Old people got -- bronchitis
Old people they -- invite us to lunch

They got -- great big cars
Funny hats
They keep on drivin' though they're
Blind as bats
They got -- feeble hearts
Wheezy lungs
They gonna make us pay for
All their drugs

Well I
Can't stand them old people
Let's ban them old people
Let's cram them old people
In homes

Old people are just the same as you and I
(Except without minds)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(Which is hopefully soon)

Old people got -- old sneezes
Old people got -- diseases
Old people they -- know Jesus
From school

They got
Both lanes blocked
They drive so slow
They get together and they take our dough
They always
Clippin' coupons cause they're cheap cheap cheap
I wish that
Reaper'd come, baby reap reap reap
Won't drop dead, you know they
Always fight
They won't go gently into that good night

Well I'm
So sick of old people
Let's kick some old people
Just stick them old people
In homes

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 40

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   8
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   31

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Tim Hall - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Stuart McArthur - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
too right Claude - who do those old people think they are! - and where do they get those hats from - 555
Know 1 can hear you dream - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Been cut off in traffic again, have we? :-)
Guy - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm glad you picked an oldies OS for this one. Nice touch.
John Barry - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Cruelly funny. - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Anyone familiar with Randy Newman's work knows that "Short People" isn't sharp satire; the guy ACTUALLY HATES SHORT PEOPLE. Likewise, anyone familiar with Claude Prez's work knows that this parody isn't sharp satire; the guy ACTUALLY HATES OLD PEOPLE. Young people too. In fact, he probably hates YOU. He's a real nasty sonofabitch.
Jeff Reuben - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Goin old school on us. I hated it. 5s.
Your Grandmother - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Anyone REALLY familiar with Randy Newman knows that he's a SHORT PERSON. His song was a witty come-back to those who teased him. He really was saying just the opposite about short people, in a sarcastic way. His song is totally hilarious, and my short daughter LOVES it! So do I, contrary to the very pathetic try to parody a fun song like Short People into a mean and hateful song about old people. It's not funny, it's insulting, and simply not true. I believe the sure sign of a GOOD parody, is that it makes you laugh. I have laughed at many an old folks joke, but they have been affectionately told, not spat out with venom. This person sounds like he is not only mean, he's dangerous. I'd hate to be his grandmother. She should lock her doors! - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
"Your Grandmother": You're just messing with me, right? - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
...I mean, the way I read your comment is the first half (through "So do I") is to be taken literally (in which case I agree with that part), while the second half shifts to the same sort of satire used by Newman in the original, Claude in the parody, and me in my first comment. Sorry if I'm being obtuse, and I know it wrecks the joke to ask people to define where they're being satirical and where they're not, but you've confused me.

As for Claude being dangerous, that's true regardless.
alvin rhodes - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
excellent...especially the cheap cheap cheap/reap reap reap part
Rick D - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I think Claude is not planning to join a club that would have him as a member. One of us might wind up in that home and pull this sucker off the printer to show all the other geezers.
Jack Wilson - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
This is great! 555!
Rex - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
As Rodney Dangerfield used to say, "We didn't put tinsel on the Christmas tree. We just waited for grandpa to sneeze."
Claude Prez - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks everybody. Especially "Your Grandmother"; I've never been called "dangerous" before. I'm also "Bad"; you know it.
Bob Gomez, getting older by the song - February 27, 2005 - Report this comment
You know where I want to be when I get put into a home? The same one Claude Prez is in, so we can do these songs to make fun of ourselves! Great stuff, especially the Dylan Thomas reference.
Royce Miller - February 28, 2005 - Report this comment
another funny one, Claude--hope you'll have your sense of humor when you're old, too
Melhi - February 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh please, everyone knows Claude loves old people... sauteed in onions & peppers and smothered in melted cheese. Heh heh.

They just built a nursing home in my back yard and you can bet I'll be singing this as I'm skimming out the first runaway geezer I find floating face down in my pool. Keep 'em comin', Claude!
Claude Prez - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Bob, Royce and Melhi -- LOL
Kristof Robertson - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I shouldn't laugh at this, coz I work with old people...but this is darn funny! 555
Guy - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above comments. It still reads the same except it's now older than when the first time I read it.
Charlie Decker - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Being 18, I can safely say that I hope I die before I get old. Though, I have a feeling I'll change my tune when I'm, say, 40 or so.
Scathe - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(sotm) I like old people so I didn't laugh. Well written, though.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Now now, Charlie, let's not patronise old man Claude!
An excellent parody, especially "Old people they know Jesus from school". It compliments 'Over De Hill' well, too. Self-attack parodies are always funny. 5s? I gave you 5s ten minutes ago!
Adagio - March 12, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well-written, but was it satire? 5's (benefit of doubt on 'funny') - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
This one should come with a warning: "Not for the satirically impaired." In my previous fit of righteous indignation, I forgot to say how funny this is. REALLY FREAKING FUNNY. Great throughout. And the parenthetical lines are a hilarious touch.
Johnny D - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Laugh it UP, Junior! Wait a minute - I'm only 46 ... wait a minute - Einstein proved time is relative ... wait a minute - I'm annoying you with this stupid run-on comment ... guess I'm an OLD FART AT HEART! ;-)
Rex - March 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Even though I'm older than when I left my previous comments, it's still funny.
Jeff Reuben - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I hope Grandma was kidding. Now that I see my comment above, I hope I was kidding! And I was. Still 5s.
Arwen - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--sorry to've missed this the first time around. It's hilarious, Claude!
Stuart McArthur - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
sotm - ahh, memories - I remember reading this, commenting, and then following all the PC-backlash

in fact I tried to get me a piece of the "grandmother backlash" action by dashing off a quick similarly-inclined parody

but to no avail - (sigh) it's so hard to be offensive sometimes...
John Jenkins - March 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Very well done, Claude. The cheap/reap couplet was classic.
Jordan (Mike Armstrong) - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
"Invite us to lunch" definitely my favorite part. great parody!
Claude Prez - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks again everybody
Tim Mayfield - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Here's some midget fives.
2nz - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Damn, completely missed it first time out. I like old people but I laughed my ass off anyway. Great one Claude.
Bush - July 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Red Ant - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Way late to the party here... excellent and funny all around, but the Dylan Thomas reference was freaking priceless.
Parody Pete - November 17, 2010 - Report this comment
This is superb. I feel your pain of old people, especially at casinos. I was thinking of doing one called, "Old People", and to the same song. Just glad I saw yours, here. Of course, I would have checked "Search" first, anyway. In my opinion, you are the best parodist on the site. Often, I skim through your archives for inspiration; not to copy your content, but to refresh my mind on what a parody should be. Actually, I'm "Old People", myself. That's what makes your parody even funnier.

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