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Song Parodies -> "That Column Jerked"

Original Song Title:

"Fat Bottomed Girls"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"That Column Jerked"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

That one pillar budged a fraction of an inch! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!1
I don't think that's stable, think it might
Fall down on my ass which ain't nice
I don't think I'm gonna stick this out
That column jerked, don't think it's solid for right now

Hey
Sure I saw it move a tad
As a sign, I think that's bad
Alright, so I know jack 'bout architecture, please, huh
I have ev'ry right to panic
When a pole that large and phallic
Starts a-movin', I'm sure it's not supposed to be

Hey, hey
Stone that wobbles, that ain't grand
Is it marble? Who cares, man?
The specifics of construction's left my brain, hey
Might've known this column's type
Afraid it's true, it lost to hype
That we'll all get squashed like pancakes in due time
C'mon

Oh, someone make that thing more tight
Oh, I could hide from it in time
Oh, just means someone else gets squashed
That column jerked, should be more solid, can't fall down
That column jerked, not talkin' bollocks, might fall down

Hey, listen here
I'm attached to all my bones
I don't want them snapped, you know
Don't think anybody else here would be pleased, I tell ya
And since ev'rything's connected
One column here gets wrecked, it
Would be awful, just like dominoes, don't you see?
Please fix this

Oh (I know), don't think I'm mad, I'm in the right (please)
Oh, someone find a cement pipe
I'm sure that exists, hose that thing down
That column jerked, should know we gotta fix that now (yeah)
That column jerked, it's gonna knock the rest right down

Moved to my eyes, ain't tight

Ooh-ooh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Please, that column jerked
That column jerked
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Alright
Fix it, asshole
That column jerked
Yes, yes

Earthquake test!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   6
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 6
 

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