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Song Parodies -> "He Only Comes Once A Year"

Original Song Title:

"Another One Bites The Dust"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"He Only Comes Once A Year"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Here's one from my big sack of previously unfinished ideas, this one being that there must be at least one well known song where the chorus could be replaced by the old Christmas joke "he only comes once a year". It might be a bit early to post it now with still a whole month to go, but let's just think of that as premature release…

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWsJcg-g1pg
Nick comes merrily down the pipe with his sack filled and a ho
Makes no sound but he's not petite, a snack down, ready to go
Gone already? I was waiting for this!
I've been staking out the socks for a week!
Up through the chimney the bastard skips and ease on down the street

He only comes once a year
He only comes once a year
And his sack is so big
And his sack is so big
He only comes once a year

Hey, say will he come for you?
Say, have you been nice this year?

How does he do it when he jumps aplomb to the roof and then he's gone?
I've waited for days and had no sleep then I missed him on the throne
I'm not happy! Still feel crap inside!
Cos again he has had me beat
Up on the roof ridge his Rudolph trips an' flies down the street

He only comes once a year
He only comes once a year
And his sack is so big
And his sack is so big
He only comes once a year

Hey, I missed that Rudolph too
I only blinked once I fear

Ho… Oh, bite me!
I am crushed
Biting dust, yeah

Ho
He only comes once a year
He only comes once a year, ho
He only comes once a year, ho-ho
He only comes once a year, heeey

Ho… Shut up!

There are tears in my eyes an' I curse the man but he has to leave my town
My obsessin' is progressin', I'm transgressin' mad, but he cannot stick around
I'll be ready, I'll be ready anew, I'm demanding a pre-warning tweet
And on his next year's December trip I'll rig a trap door under his feet

He only comes once a year
He only comes once a year
And his sack is so big
And his sack is so big
He only comes once a year

Red, I'll make your Christmas blue
And then I'll eat up the deers

Shoot 'em
Ho, I might
© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D (a.k.a. The Comedian) - December 01, 2011 - Report this comment
...must...resist...urge...to post...off-color joke-comment...must...resist... :-)
wildcard - December 01, 2011 - Report this comment
not bad
Old Man Ribber - December 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Peter - A delightfully humorous "insanity Claus". Like The Terminator, he'll be back! ;D
Golden Falcon 80 - December 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Excellent! A real positive take on a classic anti-war hit. However, if you put a trap door behind St. Nick's feet you might miss seeing him again. Then you'll have to write a parody for "I Missed Again" by Phil Collins.

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