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Song Parodies -> "Budweiser Rapacity"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"Budweiser Rapacity"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

OK, I was wrong, but I just couldn't imagine why (or how) one would parody Franz Liszt's piano pieces from the 1800s. Thanks to Leo Keough for pointing me to the *Official* Big 7 List, of which I was unaware, and of the distinction from aforesaid "Hungarian Rhapsodies" (so, Liszt isn't on the List?)

Hate parodying an OS I've never heard, by a band I've never heard of, and to which I have no intention of listening. But, "A Man's gotta do what A Man's gotta do", says The Duke, macho-ly. (But hey, I'm a turtle!) ... oh well... Undoubtedly, the pacing will suk -- just worked blindly from these OS lyrics. So here goes the 220th (I think) spin of this "mandatory" OS.

Anheuser-Busch, largest brewer in the US and 150 years old, was wholly acquired by Belgian - Brazilian brewer InBev in July 2008.

They took my Bud Lite™
Owned far across the sea
Financial landslide
Sell out to the Belgians, did we?
No more Bud-wise
Companies all die or flee
I'm just Joe Six-pack, it's Michelob™ for me
Because it's "sleazy sum, sleazy: go"
My little high turned to low
Rolling Rock™ or Landshark™ somehow all taste badder to me
Screw me

'Bama just bought a beer
'Merican? Not brewed or bred
Did the figures; "Deal!", they said
InBev's buy took out the fun
Will all be gone? No beer left: USA?
Anheus-eeeeeer
Sold my Busch™ and made me cry
I'm just your plain old Joe who likes his NASCAR
"Red State" guy, yep, am I; vote for hot chick from Alaskar

Too late; the slime have come
Mich' AmberBock's™ so fine
Maybe take a twist of lime
Good-bye Busch-Anheuser, the one we know
"Natural Light's"™ my favorite kind of "Bush"; the truth:
Ladies, ooooh, (any time the thing shows) --
Hate it when they dye!
Anheuser-Busch, is nothing sacred at all?

Bud Ice™, Busch Lite™, will still wet your whistle, man
(A bit gauche:) Make good douche; shake it up; spritz, post-tango [1]
Plunder off our light beer -- hairy, scary nightmeer, me
Gal'll lay you, gal'll play you
Gal'll stay, you: gallon, pay, you
Gal'll lay, you'll figure it's terrifico
But I'm just Joe Plumber and nobody knows me
Became a poor boy when they lost: GOP
Drinking rum? I think: No! -- Will not let them go!
Budweiser™! No, we will not let you go, please don't go
Budweiser! What if we pay more dough? Then, not go?
Budweiser! So what if sales are slow? Price, too low!
Please stay in St. Lo! Be a bro'!
Dim, the arch's glow, as you go [2]
Oh, no! Go? No! MO: Oh, no! [3]
Diarrhea, gonorrhea, leukorrhea, InBev: blow!
Adolphus Busch and Dad, Eberhard Anheuser: but for thee, woe: me [4]

So you think you can own us and sh*t in our eye?
So you think we'll still love you, and your brands, we'll buy?
Oh, InBev, can't do this to this to me, InBev
Just gotta go find -- just gotta get another beer

Maybe have a Miller's™
Based in Mil-wau-kee
Uh, oh, my hope shatters - British, really, owned by SAB?! [5]

Everywhere, the buck goes....




[1] Coca-Cola™, based in Atlanta, Georgia, USA, used to be known as "Georgia Birth Control" for being used in this manner. (Probably somewhat effective, given the pressure-wash of the carbonation and its extreme acidity. The alcohol in beer might also do the trick.)

[2] A-B was founded and headquartered in St. Louis, Missouri, a city on the west bank of the Mississippi River. In 1965, a giant stainless-steel arch was built to commemorate the city's legacy as a gateway of US westward expansion in the 1800s. At 630 feet (192 m), it is the tallest man-made monument in the United States, and rather dwarfs your local McDonald's™. There's a beautiful panoramic shot of it and the St. Louis skyline at Wikipedia's "St. Louis" article.

[3] MO = US Postal abbreviation for Missouri

[4] Busch was Anheuser's son-in-law, actually, who joined Dad as partner in 1869.

[5] SAB: Started out as South African Breweries in 1895; now based in London; acquired Miller in 2002 and was renamed SABMiller.

Actually, the author prefers Mexican beer.

This is supposed to be "one of the seven hardest songs to parody"? This is just one writer's opinion, but compared to "American Pie" or "Major-General", it's "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star". (non-rhymed or simple rhyme schemes, not so long) Two hours, research included (guess it shows, huh?) ...And a stupid song, besides.

Miller brands ® SABMiller plc. All other beer brands ® Anheuser-Busch InBev. All else © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 2
 
 5   5
 8
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Mark Scotti - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
As sung by Michele "Queen" Obama? This fives for you, Turtle...
Andy Primus - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
I presume that you would like people to be honest with the voting. I can tell you don't know the song so I won't score this one (like you did with Mark Scotti's American Pie) until you've tidied it up a bit. Great idea & research but you need to play the song to get it right. It came to a crashing stop at the operatic part (I see a little/Bud Ice, Busch Lite...silhouetto of a man/will still wet your whistle man) or (I see a little/Bud Ice, Busch Lite will...silhouetto of a man/still wet your whistle man) = one short. I hope this don't give you the hump but I thought you need to know if you want to get the pacing right on what everyone sees as one of the important ones.
Andy Primus - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
PS - I've never heard of Busch Lite so I'm presuming it's pronounced Bush
TT - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Andy Primus: See intro. I know they're often verbose, but tho it be madness, sometimes there's method t' it. (Ham.): No intention of listening to OS, and of course I always expect people to be as frank (or tommy) as I am in voting. Just wanted to get the d*mn thing out of the way. Give it whatever it deserves -- somehow, I'll survive. And yes, "Busch" is pronounced "Bush".

Mark Scotti: LOL! Don't think I'd listen to that, either.! Thanks for v/c, Mark.
Fiddlegirl - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
LOL @ intro comments re: Liszt. A-list humor, although it lists a bit unevenly in pacing-- so I gave it a 3 in that category. Still, it has the Turtle's trademark scholarly research, timely content, and flat-out funny wordplay (5)... for a cumulative average of 4. Not bad for a half-shelled effort... Boho sheik. :D
TT - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Fiddlegirl: My mistake to have pursued some mythical B7 award that I've managed to live without for all these years, despite doing "Major General" three (3) times, with a fourth concept merely awaiting the time to execute it; "Edmund Fitzgerald" two (2) times, with a third etc.; "Supercal" four (4) times, with a fifth etc.. Plus "Am Pie" once, as in all honesty, I don't think I could ever top the first stab, and "Blinded" (ditto). Plus what IMHO *should* be required for graduation, "My Fave Things" three (3) times, each of them two or three times as long as TOS, and "MacArthur Park", because it deserves it.

Will never again attempt a parody 'cuz someone says I "have to" I don't have to write at all. As R. Nelson sang, and TJ and I have discussed, you have to write to please yourself; should anyone else enjoy it, that's a lagniappe.

Thanks to Andy Primus and Fiddlegirl for frank comments and votes on something that I didn't want to do, and therefore shouldn't have done. (uh, what's the "sheik" reference?)

@Andy: The "somehow, I'll survive" wasn't meant to come out as snide as it did (as is true of much of what I say); only that it wouldn't be taken as a personal offense or interfere in our relationships in other songs. In other words, I don't hate you. :) :) :) ... for the record, I have a 111 collection, that, if added into groups of 5s, would probably be larger than my actual 555 collection. It goes with the turf of speaking one's mind freely. Cheers, Mate!
TJC - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm with FG in most regards, partic. the intro, though the pacing issues were not as irritating-through-pestiferous as for other commenters (well, they wouldn't be with my ear, would they?I!), so this was better for me... I think your topic was terribly difficult to parody--yer overall effort buoyed by Rightly praised wordEtOH'ery, pAle'entology and yard o' footnotery-- I *am* puzzled by your flat-out refusal to listen to the OS (??!!) [though do admire your forthRightness in admitting your ennui, nay, *raging indifference* regarding the OS upfront]... Isn't that anTiThetical to the The Turtle's TeneTs--or is it something about Queen that has you pshawing this line in the band?
Andy Primus - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Go on TT, give it a whirl, you never know, you might even like it. 15 mins to iron out a few niggles and you'd be on to a winner.
AFW - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
The Turtle rules ! Congratulations on doing "old BR"...I ain't done it yet, and have no desire, or intentions, too...but from what I compare..yours..looks good to me..
Tortured Turtle - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
TJC: For one thing, I'd never *heard* of Queen before this B7 issue reared its ugly head. And I haven't heard a single "song" (to use the term loosely) or group from 1980 on that I could tolerate, though forced upon one in malls, stores,etc. And it's even worse when, having no talent of their own, they redo the oldies:

Everlasting Love:
Robert Knight, 1967: Excellent
Carl Carlton, 1974: Very nice cover
Gloria Estefan, 1995: Would be justifiable homicide... and why is she singing with a frog in her throat?

Yes, antithetical, but as mentioned (several times, I think), there was this "Big 7" "prestige" thing, but whatever it is, it's not worth the torture. (TT read the description of the song at WPedia. Made it sound even worse - and stupider.) At the risk of being repetitious, I'm sorry I undertook this project. Thanks for v/c/support.

Andy Primus: Per above, thanks, but just not interested. Offer: You tune it up properly, post it under your name, and just say, "Inspired by..." or whatever you deem appropriate. It's a gift -- no strings attached.

AFW: From one of AIR's acknowledged greats, who's done 4.7x as many songs as the other commenters combined, *without* sacrificing quality, the favorable comparison is very much appreciated. I don't blame you for not intending to do it... reinforce that by my mistake ... and to anyone who attempts to diminish AFW's creds with "But he hasn't done BR yet!": May the lice of a thousand camel crotches forever infest your underarms. ... in other (and shorter) words, thanks, AFW.
Christie Marie M - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm not much of a Budweiser drinker, but you always write awesome parodies! I already dug this one. Bohemian Rhapsody parodies are so funny! I also remembered the commercial about Budweiser frogs croaking "BUD"-"WEI"-"SER" in the 90s. I thought about doing a parody of that commercial few years back. Here's 555 cold ones on me!
Tommy Turtle - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Chridtie Marie M: (slurp! burp!), ...'scuse me, and thanks for the brews :) Ha, that would have been a funny parody on the frogs. You can still do it -- a lot of us remember that commercial. Thanks for v/c!
Guy - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
TT - You sure you have not ever heard this OS? Where you been, under a shale? =;-) If for sure you played this by "ear" or lack thereof, then I commend you for a job so very well done. I parody this OS a lot and I love it.

Q: Can beer make you smart?
A: It made Bud Wiser.

TT - This Bud's for you along with these 5's.
TT - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Guy: I swear, on my children's eyes, that I did not even know that there was a band called Queen until this issue came up somewhat forcibly. ... Where I've been? Stuck in the late 50s-early 70s, where Rock began and all the *real* music is (see above comment about moderns just redoing oldies, a la Estefan/Everlasing Love, and many, many others.)

Thanks for the comment, vote, and Bud, Bud!
Guy - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
TT - That is where I've been as well as it applies to music.. BoRhap by Queen was a top 40 in 1976 -1977 - Did that "Under a shale" comment get by you? I don't know how you missed it. The song stayed in the top 40 for months.
Andy Primus @ Guy - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Guy - because you do the song often & you didn't spot anything off with the pacing I'm now starting to think that I was overly critical. How did you get the first operatic line to scan - I tried it several different ways but kept getting stuck. Another one was the 2nd to last line - nothing/British --- really/really --- matters/owned by --- to me/SAB (S. A. B. is one too many but Sab is one too few - maybe by saying it SA - B?)
Guy back @Andy - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Andy - I overlooked the pacing - it is a bit ragged in spots but I have to believe that TT, as unbelievable as this may seem, when he declares that he has never heard the song nor has he ever heard of the group, Queen. He is writing the 7 parodies necessary in order to become a member of the Big 7 on amiright. So I cut him slack based on these reasons.
Andy Primus @ Guy - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Fair enough - I've never commented on the pacing of anyone's parody before but I thought I was supposed to when it's one of the 'Big 7' (TT pulled Mark Scotti's American Pie apart & got him to tidy it up so I took my cue from that).
TT @ Andy & Guy - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Guy: See earlier comment: EARLY 70s. (Backstabbers by OJs, Stylistics, etc.) 76-77 too late, and judging from the lyrics (inane) and the description at WP, I'd undoubtedly have shut it off immediately if it had come on the radio. So, no, top 40 or not, I wouldn't be listening to any stations that play the top 40 from those years.

I saw "shale", but not any humor. "Shell" would have been funny. Shale is a sedimentary rock unrelated to sea turtles' normal hangout, coral which is actually the exoskeletons of live animals (corals spawn and breed, which is how a reef grows, when Man doesn't kill it -- like, say, walking all over it with your flippers when diving). So that's why no reaction to "shale".

Andy: Don't be afraid to comment on pacing on ANY song, Big 7 or LIttle 7,000. It *is* one of the voting criteria. I appreciate Guy choosing to cut me some slack, but that's his very kind option. I chose to do the song, and so expected to be held to the standards (note prediction in intro, which you've mentioned before that you don't read -- don't blame you, I'm way too verbose) --- that "Undoubtedly, the pacing will suk..." So I fully expected less than 5s on pacing, and hoped it might be funny enough to be worthwhile. Also, Fiddlegirl, who generally is supportive of my work, reached the same conclusion as you did, and voted accordingly -- and I would be disappointed with anything less. Why? Because IF "EVERYTHING" GETS A FIVE, THEN FIVES ARE MEANINGLESS. I try to tell people that when I vote any lower -- "If you get a Five from me, you know I mean it and that you truly earned it".

The only modifier on that, *in my own personal taste only*, is that I'll cut noobs a little slack, but conversely, the better the writer, the higher the bar to which I hold them. Maybe that's unfair, but it's my vote, right? Mark Scotti is so talented (as yourself), that I refused to let him off the hook until he nailed the sucker -- which he did, on the third try. If I'd said nothing, he'd have in the archives only the imperfect versions, which anyone who knows the song would realize didn't pace in a number of places. Now, he has something of which to be proud.

So, in a way, the more TT rags on you, the bigger the compliment -- cuz it means he thinks you're capable of parodic perfection. And I expect the same in return, but I assure you that I'm my own harshest critic, much harsher than any voters. I've polished a song until I thought it was perfect, then spent two more hours in the submission box previewing it, seeing little nits to fix that just aren't visible until you see it "Exactly how it will appear on the site", or sometimes seeing places where it could be made even better, e. g., I can change a sub and pick up one more syllable match or internal, rhyme in that line. But I'm only reptilian, and do make mistakes, so please tell me any time you see one. Perhaps there is an explanation (British/US pronumciations cause endless problems, as I learned a long time ago), or perhaps I just missed one.

As for the last line, I just checked it, and OMG, you're right. That one should have been easy, just from the printed OS lyrics. The only thing I can imagine is that, with my heart not in it and doing a song I DK and whose lyrics I don't like, I just wanted to get the bloody thing over with. As said repeatedly, it was a bad idea to begin with, and bad ideas always lead to bad results. My mistake, and it won't ever happen again (I'm not going to do "Be Our Guest", or whatever is the other B7, for this reason).

You can't really do justice to a song unless you *know* it -- not just seen OS lyrics or listen to one YouTube video (might be wrong, a cover that changed things, etc.). Most of TOS I parody, I've heard the originals so many times that I can do them by heart. I almost always check a web OS lyric to be sure, but often, they're wrong -- I *remember* the bloody song, and they've transcribed it incorrectly

Your vote is fine, Andy, and probably about what the song deserves. I'm grateful for those who chose to cut some slack for the reasons mentioned, but I won't ever again impose on their mercy. I'll stick to songs I know and like (or know and hate, which is even better, mwahaha, like MacArthur Park and Imagine), and which therefore I can parody accurately.

Thanks to all for their time, consideration, and an interesting discussion, which I hope others will read. I've certainly learned from it; perhaps we all can. Cheers!
Susanna Viljanen - September 09, 2009 - Report this comment
I rather favour Budweiser Budvar (the true Czech Budweiser beer which comes from Budweis and not from St. Louis), but here is a full .555 litres tankard for you!
Tommy Turtle - September 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Susanna Viljanen: That *does* sound better! .. as per the song, I don't care for most US-brewed beers anyway (IIRC, Busch mixes *rice* with the barley, to save money.) Thanks for the vote and tankard, and I'd love to Czech out that Budvar!

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