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Song Parodies -> "Electronic Piracy"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"Electronic Piracy"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

A short time ago I was surfing the net and did a search. I pulled up one of the search entries and immediately saw a command prompt appear and some commands executed. It flashed so fast that I was unable to deduce what it was doing, but I knew it was not good. Shortly thereafter my Windows® wallpaper was changed to their own stating that my machine had malicious viral agents and for me to click on the link so conveniently provided to buy the software that would rid me of the malicious code. That is when I knew my PC had been hijacked by unscrupulous anti-viral software vendors. I was miffed. I'd be damned before these scum received one red cent of my hard earned money. It took several evenings at home after work scouring the registry, finding processes in the Task Manager that did not belong and generally looking for any number of different file extensions that did not belong on the PC. Symantec and Norton and some other packages of anti-viral SW like SPYBOT were unable to find and remove every piece of malicious and hidden backup copies of the junk on my hard drive and system registry. I finally zapped the last malicious piece of code about two and a half days after beginning the task. During this time, I submitted parodies that were already written from my better half's PC as I worked on my laptop. What took several seconds to corrupt turned into several days of intense troubleshooting to completely remove all traces of the viral attack. My mistake? I was online using the administrator account on the laptop. This allowed the malicious attack to have complete and unfettered access to my entire PC. NEVER AGAIN!

My apologies for not reviewing, voting and commenting on your hard written parodies through this period. I will try to make up for lost time and review some of those I missed. Don't fall prey to these scum sucking grifters and buy their software, for they will most likely install something that will nail you once again, in a few months only to collect from you again and again and again. The best thing to do is to wipe and reload your PC in the event you fall victim to such piracy, but being a true computer geek I elected to rid the anomaly using my skills. If there is ever a next time, and I have taken additional steps to insure that this will never happen again, I will instead take the easy way out and re-image my PC. I had to prove a point that I was better than them. It comes from a stubborn inherited national heritage.

THESE GUYS NEED TO BE CAUGHT AND PROSECUTED AND WHEN FOUND GUILTY PROSECUTED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT THAT THE LAW ALLOWS TO INCLUDE NEVER TO TOUCH ANOTHER COMPUTER FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

Anyway these guys got none of my hard earned cash and I am rid of them once and for all. Not a lot of fun so I decided to do what the Klingons do and make a song out of a conquest. I give you "Electronic Piracy".

For a Youtube music video of the OS to "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen click HERE

I was just online,
A surfin' fan is me.
Sought out my LAN site,
Had a scrape with ware piracy.
Opened my files,
Looked up my history.
Fragged up my core, boy, hacked up my registry.
These guys are sleazy bums, steals your show,
Viral guys, slingin' low.
What they do my Windows®, beaten up and battered PC.
Pee-Cee.

ROM, ah, just killed my scan.
Tried to run against what's did,
How they rigged her, hard to rid.
Trauma, wipe, reload, be done.
Just wipe it out and blow it all away.
Drama, oooo-oo-oo-oo, doesn't mean I will not try,
It's just not right these guys my sheen they borrow.
Tally on, tally on, find out who's really badder.

Too late, the scan is done,
Delivered while online,
Shoddy popups make you blind.
Hey guys, I'm well studied, you've got to go,
Gonna take myself offline and trace your root.
Drama, oooo-oo-oo-oo (anything you send blows),
Your viral soon will die,
It'll be just like you'd never been here at all.

I see a little app-a-let-o on my LAN,
This is hooch, this is hooch, gonna kill it dead bango.
Hundred volts like lightning, racing through this fast PC. Pee-Cee, Pee-Cee, Pee-Cee.
On your way-o, (out the way-o),
On your way-o, (out the way-o),
On your way-o,
Out you go, el rapido-o-o-o!

You try to lure me, nobody shoves me,
You try to lure me with a calamity,
Spare not a slice of connectivity.
Squeezy crumbs, squeeze me, no - steal my PC, No!
I'll kill ya so - out your threat I'll throw,
I'll kill ya, out your threat, I will throw,
I'll kill ya, out your threat, I will throw,
Kill your threat you'll go - threat must go,
Kill your threat you'll go - threat must go,
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
Trauma, see ya, trauma see ya, trauma see ya, out I throw.
My disk is scrubbed, I will never let you sidetrack me, not me, not me.

So you think you can pop me and get me to buy?
So you think you can rob me with virals that spy?
Don't bait me - I just won't let you bait me.
Just toss you out - toss you right out on your ear.

Viral slinger hackers,
It's not your PC.
Oh you silly hackers, you won't do no hackin' on me.

Anything you send blows...

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Peregrin - April 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Great work Guy, both with your recovery and this piece of work. I particularly liked "I see a little app-a-let-o on my LAN" :)
adagio - April 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Really good, Guy, on both counts. I DID get a panicky feeling knowing I'd never be able to clean mine up the way you did. Heck I don't even know what wipe it clean as far as these PC's refers to. I'm just going to have to give you 5's on knowledge AND writing. : )
Peter Andersson - April 14, 2008 - Report this comment
I know your pacing is basically always spot on so I'll trust you on that here (can hardly stand the OS anymore). May I ask if you're using IE or Firefox) (Though not fully virus free I've been hit with such much less since moving over to FF).
alvin - April 14, 2008 - Report this comment
yipes, scary story, glad ya worked it out....nothing like venting your spleen with a parody
Ann Hammond - April 14, 2008 - Report this comment
like this
Agrimorfee - April 14, 2008 - Report this comment
I like a good tech-nerd parody, even if I don't understand half the lingo. Great rhyming skilz on the original throughout. 555
AFW - April 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Very well put...glad you survived it okay...
Meriadoc - April 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Loved the 'trauma see ya' part.
Guy - April 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Pip - Yeah the applet part was one of my favorite parts too. I wish this OS had not been done so many times. I can write a whole lot of parodies on this song and I have a few under my belt. But as Peter says in his comment he is getting burned out on the OS. But if it is a Klingon type response then it has to be an opera and this is definately an opera. Thanks my friend, for your comment and for reading yet another BR parody.

Pat - I do not recommend anyone doing what I did to fix this mess. I was just so peeved at these bastiches that I took matters into my own hands. If this were a homicide the detectives would have know the killing that was done was personal. I'd love to see these scums busted. Thanks and don't sweat the small stuff. If you get hacked or hijacked or infected with a virus a simple re-image or wipe and reload will have you back on track in no time. Just be sure to keep your important data safe and backed up. Do not keep things on your computer that will give a hacker an edge to committing identity theft upon you. If you must have this data stored either burn it off to CD and only access it while offline and/or encrypt it with a strong encryption algorhythm. Thanks for enjoying my conquest opera. I did a google search on "Electronic Piracy" and this parody showed up on page one, seven entries from the top. I'd just love for those scumbags to read this paordy.

Peter - I got nailed using IE. Nothing is completely safe. Just be careful where you go and always use an account while surfing that has no privleges on your PC. If they hit you then the damage is limited to a small section of your HD. A lot easier to deal with. The account I use on the internet is almost completely locked down. When I do get on with a privleged account I use the command prompt and issue the command ipconfig/ release. This takes me offline and just before getting back online I issue another command ipconfig /renew. This works with dynamic IP leasing using DHCP. As soon as I put the machine back online I logout and get back on with the under-privleged account. Thanks for not reading another BR parody (heh heh) =;-) Can't say I blame you.

Alvin - If I catch these "Lucy's" they gonna have some exspeenin' to do. Thanks for your weigh in. Your repsonses are always welcomed old frined.

Ann H. - Thanks, you seem to like this and I appreciate the feedback.

Agri - It's nice to know that I can write geek and non geeks can appreciate it. Your comment means a lot to me. Thanks.

AFW - I survived but half way through I'd wished I'd taken the easy way out but I had too much invested to stop and regroup. Thanks for your response. Much appreciated.

Merry - Glad to see you back in full force and it is especially that both members of the M&P team have seen fit to comment on this parody. Now that this is off my chest I can concentrate on serious parody, if there is such a thing. Thanks so much.
Leo Keough - July 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks for you kind comments and generous vote on ABC5(J/K)!!!...I went through all of your BR parodies and this is the one I liked the most...I was cracking up all the way through it!!!...I've done this OS three times now and I still haven't tired of it yet (but I've only been posting here for about eight months)...Again, many thanks!!!...and 555!!!

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