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Song Parodies -> "Film.cliche.fan Rhapsody"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"Film.cliche.fan Rhapsody"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

Pop movie quiz fans - there are 26 Hollywood clichés to be found in the following parody, so happy hunting......(answers, er......soon!......watch this thread)......... for an mp3 of the original song in a new window, rightclick here
Is this the real life?
It's just a bad movie
Caught in a landslide
noone out there to rescue me
but, to the right
is that a searchlight I seeeee?

IS that the poor boy...who warned of this event?
He'll be the hero who
shifts these rocks
even though
he'd been mocked
At him I had laughed hard.
"Shouldn't mine that graveyard" - said he!
...wisely


[ dissolve to next film ]


Bad man!
(lied to a kid)
puts a gun against my head
then boasts OF his plans instead
I get
"evil scheme" info
and now I must escape and save the day

Bad man!
(oo oo-oo) I...
fling acid in his eye
and he rolls round and bellows like a baby
carries on
carries on
but I've more urgent matters

Too late?
A timer's on!
in big digit-al print
(noone could not notice it)
Good grief, seven baddies! I've GOT to hide
What a break this ventilation shaft is here

I climb...
(oo oo-oo oo)
through it to the lab
sometimes wonder why-it's-al-ways next doo-oor


[ tension-building guitar solo as I dart between rows of whirring computers ]


I see a distant silhouette of the timebomb
and a girl
(pretty curls)
is the only one who sees me
I fuse all the lighting
really really frightening
her!
"I'm the hero!" "You're the hero?"
"I'm the hero!" "You're the hero?"
"I'm the hero you will bonk!"
Magnifico-o-o-o-o

First, I'll cut YOU free
then the bomb's circuitry
My lucky-guess now
picks-the-best...exit-route

Baddies attack...but (thank God)...one by one

soon-as-we're
safely-out
SAS arrives
Vermilion!
Oh!
They're in vermilion suits (as they shoot)
Vermilion!
They look just like beetroots (as they shoot)
Vermilion!
The baddies are in blue (as they shoot)
Outfits clash so phew! (as they shoot)
We know who is who, as they shoo-oo-oo-oo
SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT!!!

all-dead-the
BADDIES!
but one GOODIE
took a bullet in the toe

The-gal's-a-babe - as she showers and she waits
for me
for me
for meeeeeeeeeeeeee


[ Cut to more random movie clichés ]


You can pick all the geeks by their orthodontry-y-y
You can pick Police Chiefs coz they're black and six three-ee-ee
Ohhhhh, clichés
Hollywood loves its clichés
Just gotta work out - fun justa work out where they'll be


[ frenzied electric guitar builds to a climax then fades
to a shot of a huge window in a Lethal Weapon film ]


Bet the window shatters
anyone can see
that's why it's on camera
so that it can shatter
(trust me)


[ piano ivories tinkle as everyone watches the window...waiting...waiting... ]


Mel bursts
through the
win......dow


[ cymbal ]

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   3
 1
 2
 
 5   22
 25
 24
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Spaff.com - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Great stuff, s2. Roger Ebert (do you get his column down under?) has a recurring feature on movie cliches and has published books of them. This parody should be the intro page. "She showers and she waits for me" - heh heh.
Arwen - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
As something of a movie-aholic...you had to know that I would dig this. Looking like beetroots IS the true sign of a bad guy, isn't it?
Johnny D - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
4.99 for pacing, rounded up to 5.00 (after 9 parodies of BoRap, I'm a bit of a stickler!), and 5's for funny & overall -- brilliant, Stu -- clever, witty, excellent job.
Agrimorfee - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm gettin' too old for this s---....555
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
I've probably plugged for www.mrcranky.com earlier, if not's it's the most reliable source of movie "reviews" I know, or to quite just one piece of wisdom from there: "A film's incompetence can be measured by the inability of its evil sharpshooters to hit anything."
Stephen Harrington - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
555, well done.
alvin rhodes - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
interesting concept...this was fun
Lucy Branston's Great-Granddaughter - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
This was brilliant - with such a complex original tune, I don't know how you managed to write this parody but it's great.
Stuart McArthur - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks spaff - yes we do, and his reviews are first-listed on imdb.com of course - haven't seen his cliches, although I found a lot of other cliche stuff on the net

thanks Arwen, but the beetroots were the SAS guys! - they had to clash with the BLUE bad guys (altho most bad guys tend to be greyish) :-)

thanks Johnny, and I know everyone says this (and I know you've done 9 BoRaps, which I checked out), but I paced this over and over to the OS playing, to get it perfect, including all the fast syllables that run together which I used dashes to indicate - I accept your verdict, put PLEASE tell me which line you had trouble on!! :-)

good on you Agri ;-)....I'll check mccranky out Peter - I'd heard of that site but I've never visited it - and thanks

thanks Stephen, alvin and Lucy's ggd :-)
Rick C - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Great concept and execution here, Stu! Loved the way you ended it too. I had written down all 26 cliches but, then my dog ate the list so, I'll have to wait a couple of days to get it back. 555
Cat - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow, Stuart! This was original, good choice of OS, and very funny! Is it too early to say this'll be your May SOTM contender?
AFW - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
All together sounds like a Woody Allen film script..great job.
Queen Sluggy - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow, lot of comments! I loved your parody Stuart McArthur alothough I love the original song too =D Pacing: Exallent! I listened to the song while reading it. Funny: Very creative. I liked that part about the window shattering =P. 555
Stuart McArthur - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks Rick - it occurred to me that the full list is too long for one post here, so I'll do it as multiple posts only if there's interest in it, which I don't presume to be the case, not yet at least ;-)

thanks Cat and....*just remembered Arwen might be listening in*.....er no, I ALWAYS wait until the END of the month and THEN pick my best one (...or maybe what you said! ;-))

thanks AFW - maybe his latest, "Match Point" - although that is now my favourite Woody movie

thanks a lot Queen Sluggy (great name) - first comment I've had from you - thanks for making the effort to read it to the OS playing too, because as I said, I've never put so much effort into getting the pacing syllable-exact, intuitive, layout-friendly, and stress-friendly before - and I must admit I was proud of the window shattering finale :-)
Larry Hensley - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Very hilarious stuff, 555's
Stuart McArthur - May 11, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks Larry :-)
Johnny D - May 11, 2006 - Report this comment
"then-the-bomb's-cir-cuit-ry" vs. "no-bo-dy loves me". I'm guessing Aussie folks pronounce "cir-cuit-ry" as "SIRK-TREE", in which case your pacing of that line is 5.00 Down Under! ;-)
Stuart McArthur - May 11, 2006 - Report this comment
goddammit, you're right, Johnny D! - that was a late change and I paced it to "from-a-poor...family" which is the NEXT couplet, and when I replayed it against the OS, "circuitry"/"loves me" mapped well enough for me not to pick it up - I should have - my apologies - I should never question the great JD (9 BoRaps deserves some sort of medal)...and big thanks for taking the time :-)
Phil Alexander - May 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Loved the "Oh clichés/Hollywood loves its clichés" bit - seemed to sum it all up beautifully :-) And the geeks by their orthodontry-y-y. Lots.of.fun.stuart
Paul - May 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Spectacular storyline. Hollywood 45's can also shoot 45 bullets without reloading, if the good guy is shooting. Forty five 5's
Stuart McArthur - May 13, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks Phil

thanks Paul - and if he does need to reload he always has a spare cartridge on him, and no enemy bullet manages to hit him during the process (but gee they come close!!) which is tough luck for the baddie because the first bullet from the new cartridge square takes out their trachea and everything above it
MrMacphisto - May 13, 2006 - Report this comment
great references, 555
Red Ant - May 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Geez, I take a break from the site for one day, and look what I miss. Excellent work here, Stu. 555.
Stuart McArthur - May 14, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks MrMac and Jack
Chris Bodily TM - June 06, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is, ironically, not what I expected... it was even better! You really took on a great song with a unique subject and a brilliant execution. 555!
Cat - June 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Red Ant - June 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Lots of good cliches in here, and my favorites are bomb-related ones: "A timer's on!/in big digit-al print"; not only that, but the most complex bombs ever devised always have two wires, a red and a blue. The clueless hero makes a 50/50/90 call as to which one to cut with 2 seconds left on the clock. All 3 Die Hard movies had conveniently placed vent shafts.
Rick C - June 14, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A great blend of movies and song.
Confission - June 15, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) neat. reading this helped me understand a little more why i dislike action movies
Matthias - June 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Simply amazing.... Every single James Bond, Indiana Jones, and Star Wars had this!!! Gahhhh!!!! Enough is enough!!!
bobpiecheese - June 21, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) It would be cool if you could record this. Once as 'Film.cliche.fan Raphsody', and one as 'Film.cliche.fan. Polka', which is based off Weird Al's polka rendition of Bohemian Raphsody. Nice work!
Rex - June 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) 555 Academy Awards for you!
Johnny D - June 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Max Power - June 26, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM-Alright
wannabemustangjockey - June 26, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - you forgot the police who show up 10 seconds after the crime, and the convenient white or blue-tinted interior lighting in every vent shaft. Oh, and the cars that blow up or flip over on contact unless the hero is driving. But other than that, an excellent romp through the 'bad' part of Hollywood!
Arwen - June 27, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM...yep, still very good, Stuart...another OS that I'd like to conquer one day...and all about movies...which are my favorite things...next to making fun of them, perhaps.
Michael McVey - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Holy parody, Badman, we've been made fun of! Very interesting take on the Queen song. -- MM
Agrimorfee - September 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(Abc3) see above...of course, you're never too old!
Red Ant - September 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3F) See above!
Johnny D - September 09, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) See down under
Matthias - September 09, 2006 - Report this comment
See....
Max Power - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
ABC3F-yeah
Jeff Reuben - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Nicely done, I thought I had read this before, but hadn't commented. Well written stuff on a tough song, and funny to boot!
Cat - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC-F) See above (again!)
Rick C - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3-F) You can tell the bad guys by their orthodontistry was a riot. So were the vermillion suits. And, oh yeah, the window at the end was a great way to close it too. :-)
Kristof Robertson - September 13, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3F) I could have swore on my dog's testicles that I'd voted for and commented on this! Senility's a byatch....anyway, this is a s2art classic; brimful of great stuff! 555

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