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Song Parodies -> "My Computer's Too Slow"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"My Computer's Too Slow"

Parody Written by:

Tim Mayfield

The Lyrics

Is this new software?
Or is it piracy?
Engineering the code
Reversing hypocrisy
Benchmarking lies
Jack up the price to me
I'm just a poor boy, got no more money
Because I need to buy stuff to grow
Priced too high, lots of dough
My computer's too slow, doesn't measure up to speed
To speed

Grandma, just bought more RAM
Put a Gig into her board
She's still driving an old Ford
Grandma, this is your grandson
Why'd you throw your money away?
Grandma, boo
I would like to know why
Take it back and get a refund tomorrow
It's a con, it's a con, you'll just make their wallet fatter

Rebate, your time has come
Need to get them on the line
They forget me everytime
Good buys on computers I've got to know
Gotta buy a dozen more before I'm through
Grandma, too (my computer's too slow)
Find a real good buy
If you do, you'd better give me a call

I bought a Macintosh, it cost over a grand,
Microsoft, Microsoft, can you sell me some software
Photoshop and Streamline run like greased lightning for me
Antivirus, antivirus,
Antivirus, antivirus,
Antivirus don't get old, get new download
But I'm just a poor boy, got no more money
He's just a poor boy in computer industry
Spending his life in this activity

Priced too high, lots of dough, will you let me code
We will not! No, we will not let you code, let him code
We will not! We will not let you code, let him code
We will not! We will not let you code, let him code
We'll not let you code, let me code
We'll not let you code, let me code
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
How 'bout shareware, how 'bout shareware, how 'bout shareware, let me code
The internet has already got a site for me, for me, for me

So you think you can stop me and keep me denied
So you think you can rob me with prices too high
No pay me, can't sell this to me, pay me
Just gotta pay up, just gotta pay right up to here

Make my wallet fatter,
Somebody pay me,
Make my wallet fatter, make my wallet fatter for me,

My computer's too slow....

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   7
 4
 3
 
 5   18
 22
 22
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Fiona - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice parody!
Dave Allman - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent!
Kristof Robertson - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm a computer neanderthal, and even I appreciated this!! Well done..555
Ingeborg S. Nordén - November 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Minor pacing flaws early on, but funny and understandable to any low-budget computer owner. 4-5-5.
Cookie-man - December 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Good work! :)
Adagio - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Good one, Tim!
Cookie-man - December 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Forgot to put this in my initial comment (SOTM) :)
Rick D - December 10, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM, I think you've done funnier, but it's a hard song.
Scathe - December 10, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) All of our computer's are too slow, because a faster one is made a week later. :-)
Arwen - December 10, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM--I stumbled on pacing a couple of times...but overall this is pretty funny!
Know 1 can hear you dream - December 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I just upgraded your vote count.
Melhi - December 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Particularly love the "We will not, we will not let you code..." verse!
Phil Alexander - December 14, 2004 - Report this comment
It's good Tim, but.... I must admit there's quite a few of your other songs I think are better :-) Still, there's some lovely lines in this one.
I'm installing Linux
It's loads quicker, you see
I'm installing Linux...
I'm installing Linux for free ;-)
John Jenkins - December 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done, Tim. I agree with Melhi about the "we will not let you code" line.
Dusty D - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM, SOTM, and SOTM again. 5,5,5! Lovely! It reminds me of my own coputer problems :D
The Triple F-Rated Coffee Stirrer - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Very Very good. Very slight pacing problems but then Bohemian Rhapsody is a difficult song to parody. Was still very funny though and I very much liked the "No, we will not you code" section, Just about sums up Microsoft's tight-fisted monopoly on the computer market with Windows!
Phil Alexander - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Caught the above " tight-fisted monopoly" comment... sounded like another BoRap intro:
Is my new PC
Installèd properly
Caught in Microsoft's
Tight-fisted monopoly...
:-)
Spaff.com - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Some great subs here, Tim. "Microsoft" for "Scaramouche," "Photoshop and Streamline" for "Thunderbolt and lightning," "Antivirus" for "Galileo." Nice.
Johnny D - December 29, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Looks like Amiright's got another BoRap-meister! Well done.
Stuart McArthur - December 29, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) what Spaff said - some great wordplay, and ambitious OS to do - 555
Claude Prez - December 29, 2004 - Report this comment
This is a tough song to do. Very good job with it.
Peregrin - December 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Yep, always good to see someone have a tilt at this one, well done Tim.
Meriadoc - December 29, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Good job Tim!
EmiLoca - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Quite good, Tim! A few pacing errors, didn't affect much. Overall, such an inspired idea for a difficult song - you're getting a solid 4-5-5 from me.
Jeff Reuben - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done!
Paul Robinson - December 31, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very clever rhyming, Tim...yeah...slight pacing problem, but it's still a very fine work...4-5-5
martha - January 06, 2005 - Report this comment
very clever wordplay here ... some excellent lines as the others said...(SOTM) liked the last section especially..... should be sung with feeling!!
Geek Central - October 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Computing prices byte so bad. They can be real serial killers.. - 0101 0101 0101
Tim Mayfield - October 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks GC, I see you're an experienced consumer, your checksum bounces. Even POS systems use the buy'nary method. At least you're in a good mood, otherwise you'd probably Hex me instead. ;-)
Red Ant - October 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Saw this one the "pacing techniques" thread, replied there. 5s, and I can forget now doing my "Comp USA" rhapsody, this is better than what I would have come up with.
Rick C - October 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Commented on this in the pacing thread. You posted this before I started coming around. This is not something I would ding for pacing on. Great job. 555
stuart mcarthur - October 21, 2005 - Report this comment
yes, I remember this one, and I agree with Rick - the pacing caused me to stumble sometimes, but each time I could see how it worked for you Tim, so I wouldn't dock you for it - bullet-proof pacing (ie. works for everyone) is possible imho, but too rare to be the only pacing to merit 5s - and the quality overall of this easily deserves 555

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