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Song Parodies -> "Homerian Rhapsody"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Homerian Rhapsody"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

OK, hands up who thought this was going to be a Simpson's parody? Well, I'm afraid not... I've often thought of doing a Bo Rap parody, but always thought it needed a subject matter a little bit more profound than the norm: I got the idea when my daughter asked me how to pronounce "Menelaus", and the "Mama mia" scansion hit me straight away.As far as I can make it, the story is accurate... though inevitably when trying to use the story from a book more than 1000 pages long, I had to leave the occasional bit out
Was this once real life?
Is it mythology?
What's in the Iliad
A prequel to the Odyssey

Paris of Troy
Knew how to annoy the Greeks:
He whisked off Helen, wife of the Spartan king
But 'cause of promises made before
All the Greeks went to war
Odysseus, Achilles followed Agamemnon to Troy
To Troy

Hector just killed a man
But that Achilles was a fake
Killed Patroclus by mistake
Hector pissed Achilles off
And now he's dead and dragged all round Troy

Priam, oooh
Saw his son, Hector die
And got him back again to be buried
Carrion, carrion, a body left in tatters

Paris, his time had come
One Apollo-guided shot
To Achilles' one weak spot
Goodbye to Achilles - he got you now
I guess heel tendonitis ain't that new

Paris, ooo- (fighting Menelaus)
He looked about to die
In the nick of time was saved by Aphrodite

* * * * *

I see a huge silhouetto of a horse,
Scared 'em off, scared 'em off- where did all the Greeks go?
Ten long years of fighting - no longer exciting him:
Menelaus Menelaus
Menelaus Menelaus
Menelaus had to go (Where did he go-o-o-o?)

It's such a big horse - a present from the Gods
It's such a big horse, must be from a deity
Get it inside then let's have a party
Trojans pull, Trojans go - in the horse will go
Cassandra: No! Inside it should not go - (let it go)
Cassandra: No! Inside it should not go - (let it go)
Cassandra: No! Inside it should not go - (let it go)
No it should not go (let it go)
No it should not go (let it go)
And I fear and I fear and I fear a sneaky foe
Odysseus put a load of troops inside - the cheat
The cheat
The Cheeeeeeat

* * * * *

So the Trojans they partied and drank and got high
So the Greeks from the horse let their army inside
O..dysseus, nasty, sneaky Odysseus
Nobody got out- nobody escaped out of Troy

Timeo Danaos
Means "I fear the Greeks"
Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes
To me

Anyway, that horse goes....

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   1
 4   2
 5   13

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - September 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Good one!
karen - September 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Philbo what a great parody. I've just sat here at my desk singing it and trying not to laugh too loudly
Billy Florio - September 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Excellent Job Phil...and I didnt think it was going to be about the Simpsons....I appaude your accuracy. I am a greek/roman mythology buff, and I know the Illiad and the Oddessy well (or at least I used too).....I liked the Cassandra part for some reason lol
Michael Pacholek - September 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Rejoice, you conquer! Yeah, I know, that's from the Persian War, but it applies here! Pardon me for paraphrasing a beer commercial, but, guys, it just don't get much better than this!
John Jenkins - September 30, 2003 - Report this comment
From a Roy Rogers parody to combining two immortals - the Illiad and Queen - all in one week! As a parody writer, you have no achilles heel.
Static - September 30, 2003 - Report this comment
i now have cliffs notes for high school english. thanks philbo.
Static - September 30, 2003 - Report this comment
i now have cliffs notes for high school english. thanks philbo. 555.
Diva - September 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Claude Prez - September 30, 2003 - Report this comment
"Carrion, carrion..." was parody perfection. Great stuff.
Guy DiRIto - October 01, 2003 - Report this comment
Hey everyone, we were so busy congratulating ol' Philbo on such a great song that we all forgot to mention that this fine writer hit the 200 mark today. Great song Phil and congratulations on the milestone.
Phil Alexander - October 01, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks everybody - It's a great feeling to read such good reviews. Mind you, I was really rather pleased with the way this one turned out: all these guys seem to have names that scan so well (special thanks go to Cassandra and Menelaus :-))
Bart Alexander - October 01, 2003 - Report this comment
I shall not download Trojan Horses to school LAN. I shall not download Trojan Horses to school LAN. I shall not download Trojan Horses to school LAN. (Repeat on chalk board x 100).
Diva - October 01, 2003 - Report this comment
200...Wow, Phil . Time to get out the Rum, Rum Rum...I Think Guy has the Mai Ti's. I think have it right this time.
Rick Duncan - October 01, 2003 - Report this comment
Brilliant! I love it when someone actually adds class to this generally sophomoric genre.
boris66au - October 01, 2003 - Report this comment
I finally got here. It's as good as they come.......even if you do say so yourself ;-)
Wild Man - October 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Congrats on 200, man. Excellent Parody.
Smurf and Mr. Horse - October 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Wow! What a masterpiece this one is! your stuff
Mikey - October 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Lol! Phil you have the most origional ideas! Never in a million years would I have thought to make a parody about the trojan war. 5-5-5
Ethan Mawyer - October 05, 2003 - Report this comment
the pacing seemed a little rough at points (but when isn't it for this song) but this was pretty good. I'm going to try to write a sequel to it over my fall break next week
ethan - October 05, 2003 - Report this comment
what does et dona ferentes mean?
Phil Alexander - October 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Ethan - the full quote "timeo Danaos et dona ferentes" is usually translated as "I fear when Greeks come bearing gifts" - if you think of the more literal translation as "I fear Greeks who come and give presents", then the "to me" line at the end fits on the end of the sentence.

Mikey - well, it makes a change from politics, food and scatology, I guess. Oh, and techie parodies... I'm always trying to think of something different as a subject (though this counts as my third history-based parody, along with Kiss Me Hardy and Boadicea.. there's still plenty of history to think about)
Smurf and Mr. Horse - October 07, 2003 - Report this comment
This was great Dr. Phil. You've filled our emotional needs for more Bohemian Rhapsody-like parodies! Great stuff!
Meriadoc - October 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Excellent as always Phil. Carrion!
Wirecutter - October 15, 2003 - Report this comment
That's bloody incredible. You took an awesome song and made it better AND funny. Please record it as it would be very entertaining.
Phil Alexander - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Record it? Funny you say that, Wirecutter: I've got a karaoke mp3, but it's got all the harmonies singing the wrong words - I might manage to get the recording done, but I've got a lot more editing before it'll work properly. Thanks for the comment, too.
Johnny D - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Wow....well done! This one's destined to join the classics of Bohemian Rhapsody Parodology !!! 5-5-5 without a doubt !!!
Rick D - October 26, 2003 - Report this comment
That comment above was one of the first I dared to write when I was new less than a month ago. I've come to realize that what you guys here at the top do isn't sophomoric at all. I'm thrilled to be knocking heads (and heading for some knocks) with you guys.
James - October 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
Phil Alexander - October 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Thank you, James :-) Rick, there are some extremely, er shall we say "immature" parodies here (I've added one or two myself), especially if you look at the various Avril parodies... but the standard of parody here especially recently has been really quite remarkable.
Stray Pooch - January 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil: This is a GREAT parody, and I admit I thought it had to be a Simpsons parody when Claude mentioned it to me. Your use of "carrion" was much better than mine and this parody subject is awesome. My HS age son loved mythology so I will have to have him read it when he wakes up! Great job!
Agrimorfee - April 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Randomly found--clever stuff Phil!
drewster the rooster - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
i'm relatively new here but after you commented on one of mine i thought i'd come check out a couple of yours, gotta say mate, this on was outstanding, your great, hope your still writing ones as good as this
Phil Alexander - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Drewster - I don't think they're all as good as this: even for the standards I set myself (which are fairly high), this is a goodie; however there are funnier ones...
Steve - May 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Pure awesomeness.
-Billfunk- - May 27, 2004 - Report this comment
thats a verry good one. FUCK YOU GUYS
Leo Jay - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
marthja - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
terrific and sooooo fashionable!!!!

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