-> "Neiman-M Recipe"
Original Song Title:
"Bohemian Rhapsody" (MP3)
Parody Song Title:
Is this for real, guys?
Is this just urban myth?
Caught in my spam pile
No escape from the Internet's
Why can't friends get wise and see?
I don't have high speed
I need more memory
They send suspicious files, virus threats,
Altered pix, Darwin deaths
Any kind of spam blows
Plus it rarely matters to me -
Mama - met me for lunch
Got the soup and salad deal
At the Neiman Marcus Grill
Mama - tries dessert for fun
The homemade cookies blow us both away
Can we get the recipe?
The waitress says the charge for that's two-fifty
Add it on! Add it on!
As if that much really matters
My statement comes
Two hundred fifty bucks!
Man, that Neiman Marcus sucks!
Piss off, says their help line
You've got to pay
Gotta keep the things you buy or face a suit
(Here's the way the spam grows)
Neiman's has to die!
So send this out to everyone that you know!
[The recipe is heralded with a dramatic electric guitar buildup - and then a jarring tempo change]
First cream a haffa cuppa butter up with three
Tablespoons! Tablespoons! Of yer good ol' white sugah
PLUS A CUP OF BROWN STUFF - MIX IT TILL THE MOUND'S FLUFF-EE
Half a teaspoon! Baking soda!
Half a teaspoon! Baking powda!
Half a teaspoon table salt! Mix in a bo-o-o-o-owl
With one and three-fourths
Cups of white flour; Pre-
HEAT UP THE OVEN! THREE HUNDRED SEVENTY!
MAKE SURE THERE'S ROOM FOR YOUR GREASED COOKIE SHEET
Add an egg - to the dough - with two teaspoons o'
VANILLA! OH! AND INSTANT ESPRESSO - Here we go!
VANILLA! THAT'S POWDERED ESPRESSO - Kicks it, yo!
VANILLA! ONE-POINT-FIVE TEASPOONS O' - Espresso!
MIX IT IN THE DOUGH - Espresso!
BUT DON'T EAT THE DOUGH
(Never Never) Never eat the do-o-o-o-ough
NO - DON' - GO - FO - YO - DOUGH - BRO
Add semi-sweetened - semi-sweetened
SEMI-SWEET CHIPS O'COCOA
YOU NAILED IT, BUB! BAKE TEN MINUTES FOR SOME FINE COOKIES
[Bang head against oven and/or monitor]
So you've heard that they're tracking your emails for cash?
Or the reason that Touched By An Angel was trashed?
Don't send this to me, baby
Just gotta log out
Just gotta get off your computer!
[Instrumental mayhem gives way to the denouement]
(Ooh, spam - ooh, spam)
Doesn't really matter
If it's actually
Truth or where you heard it
Please just don't for-word it
(Any kind of spam blows)
Your Vote & Comment Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they
appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to
leave a comment below about this parody.
|How Funny: ||4.6|
|Overall Rating: ||4.6|
|Total Votes: ||9|
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| || || || ||Pacing|| ||How Funny|| ||Overall Rating|
| ||1|| ||1||
| ||2|| ||0||
| ||3|| ||0||
| ||4|| ||0||
| ||5|| ||8||