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Song Parodies -> "tNSotP 2: Cardiac Time"

Original Song Title:

"Time / The Great Gig in the Sky"

Original Performer:

Pink Floyd

Parody Song Title:

"tNSotP 2: Cardiac Time"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

THE NORTH SIDE OF THE POLE

2.A.
CARDIAC TIME
(To "Time")

Packing away the food and the fudge and the fruitcake
Feeding your face like a Carnival cruise buffayeeay
Washing it down with some rum you found at the FoodTown
Eggnog is great if you make it my granddaddy's wayeeay

Tired of dodging carbohydrates
'Tis the season; have a taste
Hey the neighbors brought it by, how
Rude to let it go to waste
Then Boxing Day you find
You've got a huge behind, you
Know restraint's no effing fun
You'll get some lipo done

[Snack break]

You don't run very far - at least there's a spa you're paying
Raises your pulse to scope out the spandexy babes
You think with dismay what your relatives weigh, plus you're older
Short for your weight - and one pound closer to freight

Every year you're getting larger
Never seem to exercise
Hoping that you'll find someone who
Digs your Brontosaurus thighs
Pigging out on candy decorations is the Christmas way
The diet's toast
The year is over
Start again on New Year's Day


2.B.
DUDE, WHERE'S MY SLEIGH?
(To "Breathe Reprise")

Stoned
Stoned again
Just me and Pink Floyd in my van
When my elves have got me wired
It's good to light my pipe and play retired

Far away from Mrs. Claus
And lists of kids with conduct flaws
Parked beyond the Polar rails
I must escape those freakin' jingle bells


2.C.
CRIKEY! NO WHITE CHRISTMAS IN THE OUTBACK, MATE!
(To "The Great Gig in the Sky")

[This bit performed by the Australian Pink Floyd Show]

[An Aussie lad, Stuart, mumbles something about not being afraid of Funnel Spiders. He then wails for three and a half solid minutes at the injustice of Christmas falling in the entirely wrong season, rendering Santa's sleigh utterly useless Down Under. It's quite heartbreaking, actually.]

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

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2nz - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Pink Floyd is a tough gig, but you carry that weight, bro. One of my highlights:
"Hey the neighbors brought it by, how
Rude to let it go to waste"

Myyyyyyyyy-eye-yyyyyyyyyyy Christmas cheer
Goes to my rear
Jack Wilson - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL!!! THats awesome! 555!
Olvan The Terrible - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny, but I feel that the parody unfairly bashes people who break their diets on the holidays.
alvin rhodes - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
i'm enjoying your set of pink floyd christmas songs.....5s
Stuart McArthur - December 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I was reading this and the lovely pacing was bringing that great album back to life for me ("You think with dismay what your relatives weigh" - superb) and then I got to the bit about a whingeing Aussie called Stuart, and - I don't know if I was really drunk at the time - and I'm not frightened of dying - I thought yes that DOES sound like me! - us aussies do it tough at xmas - all that surf sand sun and sea :-) - 555, mochiron
Spaff.com - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Looney 2nz & Jackie & Scholar Rhodes & Stuartiste (glad you caught it).

Olvan: You're kidding, right?
mac - December 20, 2004 - Report this comment
All in all it's well done and kept me enthralled.
THE NORTH SIDE OF THE POLE (tNSotP) - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, mac.
Belated explanation: This is Part 2 of an entire-album parody of "The Dark Side of the Moon." All of the (completed) parts are linked at the bottom of this list:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/authors/spaffcom.shtml
Agrimorfee - January 04, 2005 - Report this comment
EXCELLENT!! 555
Spaff.com - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx again, Aggro!
Chris Bodily TM - January 30, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm not afraid of giving you fives. Any five will do. Why should I be afraid of fiving? There's no reason for it; You've got to five sometime. 5-5-5
Spaff.com - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Trademarked one: There is no good side of Amiright really. Matter of fact, it's all good.
Red Ant - December 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow, that is excellent, particularly the Cardiac Time part catching so many of the internal rhymes and the rhyming in general. TGGITS had me laughing out loud (sorry about that Stu).
stuart mcarthur - December 09, 2005 - Report this comment
if I could wail the way that woman wails (she was a fill-in brought in for the day from a London talent agency because the original intended vocalist was a no-show, and (of course) she only did one take, then apologised for it - and now every nuance of her soulful rendition is etched into our Floyd-loving psyches)........where was I? - oh yes, I'd be a..........professional wailer? (sorry, I lost my good idea)
Adagio - December 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Woo!! Very good! 5's
Spaff.com - July 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Patagio: Belated thanx for going through the whole album! Very cool of you.

Ant & s2art: I'm glad you liked the "Great Gig in the Sky" bit. Speaking of great gigs, do you know about The Australian Pink Floyd Show? I didn't make them up for this parody; they're a fantastic Pink Floyd tribute band. I saw them last year and they did DSOTM all the way through, and the female vocalist who did "Great Gig" was amazing. Check 'em out if they're ever on your continent.
Adagio - July 15, 2006 - Report this comment
You heard that Syd Barrett died a few days ago, didn't you. But the rest of the band is getting back together...and they wrote a tribute to Syd.
Spaff.com - July 16, 2006 - Report this comment
I heard about Syd Barrett, but I hadn't heard that the other Pinks were reuniting or doing a tribute for him. That would be cool if it happens. And if it does, that's two reunions in one year. Kinda makes you get your hopes up for a tour. Kinda.

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