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Song Parodies -> "Nifty Ways To Heave Your Dinner"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Nifty Ways To Heave Your Dinner"

Parody Written by:

Dee Range

The Lyrics

Your problem is all outside your belt she said to me
Your pants are rippin' I've got to mend them sur-gic-ly
I'd like to help but you keep bustin' out your Lees
So here's some nifty ways to heave your dinner

She said your belly's really flabby and protrudes
Furthermore she hates to see me in the light, es-pesh-ly nude
Either delete that shelf of the fat and high carb food
Or learn the nifty ways to heave your dinner

Chorus

Just barf it on up, Chuck
Have a good retch, Fletch
You just need to get sick, Rick
Just make yourself heave
Hot vomitus, Gus
You don't need to digest much
Just get on your knees, Lee
Regurge it all free

Repeat chorus

She said just heave it so it flushes down the drain
It was the only thing I could do to make me small again
I said I'll regurgitate that, though I thought it insane
About the nifty ways

She said why don't you just go vomit after sup
And as you heave here's a warning...don't beg me to mop it up
Then she hit me in the stomach and I started to erupt
That's sure a shifty way to heave your dinner
Shifty way to heave your dinner

Repeat chorus twice

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 30

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 2
 0
 
 5   30
 27
 29
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL! 555
"Then she hit me in the stomach and I started to erupt
That's sure a shifty way to heave your dinner"

Too funny!
Arwen - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
A little bit gross...a little more than funny! =) 5s...
Know 1 can hear you dream - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
555 feathers down the throat.
Ashkicksass - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
"Don't need to digest much" is the one that got me!
Johnny D - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Sounds like a visit to the Vomitorium.
John Barry - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Hilarious! Five fingers down the gullet, three times.
2Eagle - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thats so gross it's funny.
Paul Robinson - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
OK, I'm heaving up 3 five's for you here, Dee. Too bad there's not a good name-rhyme for "Blowing chunks", though...at least I couldn't think of any.
Dee Range - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Many thanks to all for the nice comments. I guess somebody(the "ONE" guy?) puked when they read it, though. Hope he had a good day cleaning it up. Looking around the sight today, somebody is on the "ONE" warpath. Doesn't bother me, I'm glad he wastes his time reading things that make him sick LOL
Royce Miller - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
really well written, I like the "you don't need to digest much" line
Dee Range - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Royce, thanks, and I really liked your volcano parody today! Since you didn't have comments enabled, just wanted to let you know all 5's from this view!
alvin rhodes - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
this is great..especially the chorus and especially especially "hot vomitus, gus"...5s plus
Dee Range - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Alvin, many thanks for the kind words
Billy Florio - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job
Dee Range - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Billy, thank you
Claude Prez - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Have a good ralph, Ralph? Funny stuff.
Kristof Robertson - October 07, 2004 - Report this comment
The parodies of this song just keep getting better! Well done Dee. 555
Ingeborg S. Nordén - October 07, 2004 - Report this comment
This is certainly a novel way to send-up "Fifty Ways"; even though I'm not a huge fan of "bodily grossness" songs I'll put that reservation aside and give this the three fives it deserves.
Joe Melchionne - October 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Still laughing! This is what it's all about!
Dee Range - October 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Kristof, Ingeborg, and Joe Melchionne, thank you so much for the nice comments!
Agrimorfee - September 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Would like a thin mint waffer?
Dominic L. - September 16, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC- FUNNY! I like the chorus!
Red Ant - September 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) 15 points to raise your av'rage for this vomit fest!
Gonfunko - September 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) PMFFU! Great job!
Adagio - September 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) I loved the chorus, even though I was getting sick to my stomach. : )
Rick D - September 19, 2005 - Report this comment
I think you'll score high on this one. But don't treat everyone to a meal.
Johnny D - September 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) I clicked, I read, I chunkered.
Stuart McArthur - September 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(N) ooh, haven't seen this before - must've been JUST before my arrival here - "It was the only thing I could do to make me small again" was a killer Dee - 555
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Who woulda thought bulemia would be so funny? Fine work from Ralphing Puke.
Rick C - September 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Perfectly paced and a riot! High fives.
Kristof Robertson - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) "Hot vomitus, Gus"...ewwww! Hilarious, but...ewwwww! :-)

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