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Song Parodies -> "Fifty Names to Give Her Udders"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty Names to Give Her Udders"

Parody Written by:

Robert J. Pagliaro

The Lyrics

The problem to call her pups in bed just nips at me
Some answers sound sleazy if you read Porn-og-ra-phy
I'd like to name them but I struggle 'cuz you see
There must be fifty names to give her Udders

This said it's really not my habit to be lewd
Furthermore, I hope my weening don't cost me or kill the mood
So I'll repeat myself 'bout these breasts I'm seeing nude
There must be fifty names to give her Udders
Fifty names to give her Udders

Some call 'em a rack, Jacq
Mammary gland, Fran
You don't need a big chest, Jess
Just set your shelf free

Show Janet's bust, Just
She don't need to have too much
Just drop down the tee, Leigh
And set your shelf free

Some call 'em a rack, Jacq
Mammary gland, Fran
You don't need a big chest, Jess
Just set your shelf free

Show Janet's bust, Just
She don't need to have too much
Just drop down the tee, Leigh
And set your shelf free

I said, "it grieves so to give your girls a name
I wish there was something I could do to take away my shame"
She said, "I appreciate that but would you please explain
About the fifty ways"

I said, "why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
'Cuz I believe in the morning I can surely end this plight"
And then she flashed me 'cuz she realized I probably was right
There must be fifty names to give her Udders
Fifty names to give her Udders

Some call 'em a rack, Jacq
Mammary gland, Fran
You don't need a big chest, Jess
Just set your shelf free

Show Janet's bust, Just
She don't need to have too much
Just drop down the tee, Leigh
And set your shelf free

Some call 'em a rack, Jacq
Mammary gland, Fran
You don't need a big chest, Jess
Just set your shelf free

Show Janet's bust, Just
She don't need to have too much
Just drop down the tee, Leigh
And set your shelf free
"Weening" is spelled correctly - while archaic, it means thinking or supposing.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   12
 12
 12
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - July 07, 2004 - Report this comment
This is the breast parody I've read today.
Know 1 can hear you dream - July 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Im not nearly counting 50 here, but "Just set your shelf free" is a LOL line. And we should have an A-E scale for this type of parodies. ;-)
John Barry - July 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Udderly hilarious. Had me tittering.
Meriadoc - July 07, 2004 - Report this comment
"Weening" was a good play on words! ;-D
Laurence Dunne - July 07, 2004 - Report this comment
You are such a boob. Hope you get BUSTed by the 1's ghoul. Best parody i've read today, bra none. Glad you got it off your chest.
alvin rhodes - July 07, 2004 - Report this comment
love the concept....i thought you could have done a little more with it had to give ya 4s
Robert J. Pagliaro - July 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks to all - wasn't sure how this would work. Meriadoc, glad you liked the line and sorry I provided an explanation - I should thank the Thesaurus for that word (line). Alvin, I agree, don't know exactly what you were referring to but, personally, I didn't like the repeat lines . . . but sometimes you just got to play the hand you're dealt. Later, bob
Win Lose or Bust - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment
I love it. Highly amusing - good job! I especially like 'Just set your shelf free' :D
Michael Pacholek - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment
This was a real hooter. And a fantastic title. After reading this, I feel like a deer (Don't say it, Mike!) caught in the headlights. (He said it!)
Guy - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
(123) This one is going to rack up three fives from me, no matter whatcha call 'em.
Robert J. Pagliaro - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Guy - how the hell are ya buddy? Good to hear from you - thanks for the nice comment. Liked your "Varmints" work - original, clever, well-written. Gotta tell you though, I miss the "political Guy" - you're one of few only right-wingers who has a shot in hell at being funny. Have to read your Sports entry - I've been to the Billy Goat by the way. Hope all is well. Later, bob
Adagio - March 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(123) Good work. 5's
Charlie Decker - March 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny. 5s from a guy who has an "udder" parody or two of his own.
Kristof Robertson - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(123) Although I would have liked to see more variation in the chorus (a nice pair o' tits, Fritz)...this was still a bawdy classic.555
Agrimorfee - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(123) Totally boobular.
Johnny D - March 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(123) B-B-B-Bobby and the Breasts-ssssssss!
Melhi - March 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(123) I like this parody, it has a bouncy tune and I can jiggle to it.
John Jenkins - March 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Very well done. The "your shelf" line and the "Janet's bust" line were especially clever.
Phil Alexander - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
:-)8-{=
Stuart McArthur - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(123) hilarious, and very imaginative idea, Robert!
martha - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
asa mere Brit Iam quite astonished at the amazing impact/resonance the Janet episode seems to have had.... grat parody which has elicited the usual crop of amusing wordplays that are an inevitable feature in parodies on this particular subject .. Johnny loved yours!!!

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