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Song Parodies -> "Lunch At Five O'Clock!"

Original Song Title:

"Loves Me Like A Rock"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Lunch At Five O'Clock!"

Parody Written by:

Leo Jay

The Lyrics

I was eatin' at my desk (eatin' at my desk...)
When the boss, she shrieked my name' (...boss, she shrieked my na-a-ame...)
She said, "Hey you! Lou! (...oooh...)
Food and a drink? Get movin'! (...eatin' at my desk...)
Your report is due at three!" (...'port is due at three-ee-ee...)
I said, "the one that's due next MONTH, you mean...?"
(I tell you, she bugs me... she bugs me...)
She grabbed my sandwich and she shoved me, she said...
"Lunch at 5 o'clock!
Eat Lunch at 5 o'clock!"
That crazy bitch shoved me!
(...she shovedme, shovedme, shovedme, shovedme...)

So I went to Personnel, (...went to Personnel...)
And I spoke to Leo Jay* (...oy vey... Leo Jay-ay-ay...)
He said, "Stay cool, Lou... (...cool...)
Who do you think you're foolin'? (...only Personnel...)
She's the Comp'ny president!" (...she's the one in cha-a-arge...)
So I'm pretty sure no harm was meant...
I told him, "She shoved me, she SHOVED me!
She grabbed my sandwich and she dumped it, she said...
"Lunch at 5 o'clock!
Eat lunch at 5 o'clock!
That lady -- she shoved me..."

So I saw the Labor Board, (...where the folks are bored...)
Cause I planned to make her pay, (...pay, 'til Labor day-ay-ay...)
They said, "Nay. You? Sue? (...Who...?)
Suit's gonna sink... "Unproven!"... (...nay, can't make her pay...)
You're too rich, and white and male - (...prob'ly went to Ya-a-ale...)
If you were old, or poor, or not so pale..."
"I TELL YOU SHE SHOVED ME! SHE SHOVED ME!
Bitch stole my sandwich and she dumped it! She said...
'Lunch at 5 o'clock!'
That nut is off her rocker!
Crazy! She SHOVED ME!"

So I hired me a shark, (...hired me a shark...)
From the town they call 'L.A.' (...where the Lakers play-ay-ay...)
He said "Gay? Sue, Lou!" (...ooh!...)
"Suit up in pink -- she's through, man... (...now, we'll make her pay...)
Bet she settles out of court, (...she's the caving so-o-ort...)
But a jury is our last resort."
He smiled and said, "buddy... just trust me..."
Some kind of legal whiz he must be, I got...
Bucks! And piles of stock!
Just hire Johnny Cochran, baby --
He's something!

(...he's something, something, something, something...)
(...yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...)
* I used to work in HR, so I took an unflattering cameo here for old time's sake...

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Charlie Decker - May 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Very good. Had me giggling.
John Jenkins - May 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Very good. I like the bored, Labor Day lines.
Agrimorfee - July 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Loved it. Good story and call&response from where the background vocalists would sing was really cool.555
Melhi - July 19, 2004 - Report this comment
(L) Oooh, nice!
Leo Jay - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, thanks Agrimorfee and Melhi! I think this is one of my more underapprciated pieces, so I'm glad to have the recent traffic from the SOTM crew!
Leo Jay - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I mean, 'ABC' crew.
Adagio - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) good one!
Johnny D - July 22, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Brilliant and hilarious!
Leo Jay - July 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I just realized that I never acknowledged Charlie Decker and John Jenkins for their earlier comments! Thanks, guys! Also, more recent 'ABC' visitors Adagio and Johnny D.
Meriadoc - July 23, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) This was great!
Peregrin - July 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Leo Jay, I just about fell off my chair when I read this, for reasons only best understood by Merry! This was fantastic!
Jeff Reuben - July 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Good stuff man!
Leo Jay - July 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Merry, Pip and Jeff.
Pip, do tell -- HR nightmare story?
martha - July 26, 2004 - Report this comment
very good parody ... the personal experience shows in the knowing/ sophisticated lyric
ABC's OF PARODIES ROUND "L" WINNER - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,2353.0.html
ABC's OF PARODIES ROUND "L" GOLD MEDAL - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3010.0;id=1347;image
Spaff.com - March 27, 2005 - Report this comment
That bastard is FUN-NY. He's funny funny funny funny.

Great stuff, Leo & Leola & Liao & Leigh & Lee & Shane. Compelling tale, fun call-n-answers. This needs more votes - where's the rest of your TOTTM fan club?
Adagio - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC 2004 WINNERS) DKTOS Good read.
Scathe - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABCfinals) Lots of drama here, Leo. Good work.
Li Oh Xie - March 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Hah, I was just reading this old parody out loud, and now that George Takei from Star Trek has come out of the closet, that "Gay? Sue, Lou!" line makes for an interesting homophone. Uhhh... no pun intended.
Stuart McArthur - March 27, 2007 - Report this comment
LOL on the original pun that I confess I would have missed on first reading - good to see you dropping in Leo

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