I was eatin' at my desk (eatin' at my desk...)
When the boss, she shrieked my name' (...boss, she shrieked my na-a-ame...)
She said, "Hey you! Lou! (...oooh...)
Food and a drink? Get movin'! (...eatin' at my desk...)
Your report is due at three!" (...'port is due at three-ee-ee...)
I said, "the one that's due next MONTH, you mean...?"
(I tell you, she bugs me... she bugs me...)
She grabbed my sandwich and she shoved me, she said...
"Lunch at 5 o'clock!
Eat Lunch at 5 o'clock!"
That crazy bitch shoved me!
(...she shovedme, shovedme, shovedme, shovedme...)

So I went to Personnel, (...went to Personnel...)
And I spoke to Leo Jay* (...oy vey... Leo Jay-ay-ay...)
He said, "Stay cool, Lou... (...cool...)
Who do you think you're foolin'? (...only Personnel...)
She's the Comp'ny president!" (...she's the one in cha-a-arge...)
So I'm pretty sure no harm was meant...
I told him, "She shoved me, she SHOVED me!
She grabbed my sandwich and she dumped it, she said...
"Lunch at 5 o'clock!
Eat lunch at 5 o'clock!
That lady -- she shoved me..."

So I saw the Labor Board, (...where the folks are bored...)
Cause I planned to make her pay, (...pay, 'til Labor day-ay-ay...)
They said, "Nay. You? Sue? (...Who...?)
Suit's gonna sink... "Unproven!"... (...nay, can't make her pay...)
You're too rich, and white and male - (...prob'ly went to Ya-a-ale...)
If you were old, or poor, or not so pale..."
"I TELL YOU SHE SHOVED ME! SHE SHOVED ME!
Bitch stole my sandwich and she dumped it! She said...
'Lunch at 5 o'clock!'
That nut is off her rocker!
Crazy! She SHOVED ME!"

So I hired me a shark, (...hired me a shark...)
From the town they call 'L.A.' (...where the Lakers play-ay-ay...)
He said "Gay? Sue, Lou!" (...ooh!...)
"Suit up in pink -- she's through, man... (...now, we'll make her pay...)
Bet she settles out of court, (...she's the caving so-o-ort...)
But a jury is our last resort."
He smiled and said, "buddy... just trust me..."
Some kind of legal whiz he must be, I got...
Bucks! And piles of stock!
Just hire Johnny Cochran, baby --
He's something!

(...he's something, something, something, something...)
(...yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...)