I know a young man, who is liable to explode
or be run over when he's walking down the road
or maybe microwaved...until his body glowed
there must be fifty ways to kill poor kenny

touched by death, seth
went up in flames, james
hit by a truck, chuck
it's sad as can be
he has paid his debt, brett
now he lies in a casket
for eternity, lee
he'll never be free

he's always singled out , although he does no wrong
his friends are sorry,but it doesn't last too long
his body's weak...but his soul is mighty strong
there must be fifty ways to kill poor kenny

avalanche on the hill, bill
trapped in the snow, joe
got sick and he died, clyde
it's sad as can be
always fading away, jay
but he comes back the next day
for eternity, lee
he'll never be free

a pinkeye epidemic really caused a stir
embalming fluid got combined with worstershire
kenny had to die...cause it was the only cure
there must be fifty ways to kill poor kenny

by a dodgeball slam, sam
flagpole impaled, dale
hit by a train, jane
it's sad as can be
his chances are slim, jim
as the vermin consume him
for eternity, lee
he'll never be free