Roll back the state and let the markets take the strain
Investment bankers will be there to ease your pain
You too can pay no tax and watch your assets gain
Cos we have 50 ways to make you money

Just let your money do the work those admen say
good old honest labour nowadays just ain't the way
so buy a flat in Islington and make those tenants pay
yeah there are 50 ways to make some money

Not under the bed Ed
Gotta give it a chance- Vance
Don't stick it in the bank/ Hank
You need a high return

get a pension plan Stan
move on to a gilt/ Milt (harmony)
Why stop at a share, Claire?
You've got money to burn

ooh a nice junk bond Ron,
try an IPO Jo
A sweet index bet Chet
How can you resist?

Volatility rules Jools
You better dive right in/ Glyn(harmony)
HIT that arbitrage Marge,
You have to take the risk

but when that bubble bursts it all disintegrates
even hedge fund gurus have been known to make mistakes
and then that global market dislocation seals your fate
yeah there are 50 ways to lose your money

So long sushi bars Lars
credit's run dry Guy
don't make a fuss Gus
they've got you on the run


give up the golf Rolf
shame about the Merc/ Dirk(harmony)
are you feelin sick Nick?
It's only just begun

they repossessed the yacht Dot
better sack the maid Jade
you can't afford to pay Ray
and you were havin such fun

you'll have to sell that house Klaus
don't it break your heart/Art(harmony)
cancel all leave Steve
Your salad days are done

Now don't you get too sick or old or be downsized
Those premiums you paid may not be realised
And when you're down and out you know you'll be despised
Oh there are 50 ways to lose your money

Sign on the dole Noel
heading for the track Jack?
you can pull off a fraud Claude
you should have taken more care

run a little scam Pam
why don't you deal some weed/ Reid(harmony)
there's always the game Jane
Hey that's if you dare

But those who steal and deal will wind up doing time
And even begging soon will be defined as crime
So don't you even try to ask a brother for a dime.
Yeah we have 50 ways to lose your money