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Song Parodies -> "15 Ways to Lose that Blubber"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"15 Ways to Lose that Blubber"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Inspired by Jonathan's previous parody! Added another verse to get to 15!!!
You need a hundred pounds to shed
She chastised me
The answer is easy with food:
Cut down on groceries!!!
Time to stop breaking every scale
Stop your gluttony
There must be fifteen ways
To lose that blubber

She said it's really not that healthy
To protrude
Furthermore, it's humiliating
To be in public seen with you!
You never wear a belt
Your tent-like shirts I don't approve
There must be fifteen ways
To lose that blubber
Fifteen ways to lose that blubber

(Chorus)
Order shorter stacks*, Jack
Exercise plan, Stan
Veggies to enjoy, Roy
Try some Gluten-free
Eat more nuts, Gus
You don't have to eat out much
Steamed rice, no gravy, Lee
Try some Fish from the sea!

She said it grieves me so
To see you chow down once again
I wish there was something I could do
To make your appetite just end
I said, "You used to love me fat
even with the pounds I gained"
But I'll try the fifteen ways

She said, "You're a dope
Be a man, make it right"
I couldn't take her scorning
Binged in the Fridge all night!
She was pissed at me
And I realized she probably was right
There must be fifteen ways
To lose that blubber
Fifteen ways to lose that blubber

(Chorus)

Maybe cook a little less, Jess
Ditch all butter in the trash, Ash
No fried cooking grease, Reese
Get some health mags to read
In laxatives we trust, Russ
Tread climber is a must to bust
That tire of gut!!!
Last: I'll leave in disgust... and you'll never see me

Again...
* short pancake stack at Denny's or IHOP

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

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 5   23
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 23
 

User Comments

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annimal - March 18, 2016 - Report this comment
he he
Max Power - March 18, 2016 - Report this comment
And behold the power of photoshop.

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