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Song Parodies -> "Nifty Ways To Leave Your Mukluks"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Nifty Ways To Leave Your Mukluks"

Parody Written by:

Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson

The Lyrics

This OS has been heavily worked recently. But imagine that Paul Simon sang about a mid-winter escape to the Beach Boys' mythic Caribbean destination of Kokomo; with a nod to recent weather reports.
“Your problem is worsened by this nasty winter freeze,
Let's get away to moonlit nights off the Florida Keys.
We’ll defy gravity, perfect our chemistry;
There are some nifty ways to leave your mukluks”.

She said, “Escape it all for a great place to go.
And by jet we’ll get way down there fast, then we can take it slow,
Everybody knows a dreamy place like Kokomo –
There are some nifty ways to leave your mukluks.”
Nifty ways to leave your mukluks.

All-inclu’ in Aru’, Lou
Bake in Jamaic’, Jake
A month in Bermud’, dude
Just get ourselves warm.
Few weeks in Baham’, Sam,
Don’t need lots of lead-time,
Mellow Montego, Joe
No snow – Largo Key.

Feel mystique - Martinique, Zeke
Glimpse Port-au-Prince, Vince
Survey Montserrat, Matt
Bodies in hot sand.
Lounge in St Kitts, Fritz
Rhythm of a steel-drum band
Hop bars in Negril, Bill
And get yourself tanned.

She said, “It peeves me so, car battery has died.
And our street has not been plowed so all you’d do is slip and slide."
I said ”Snow day - there’s little open, so nowhere else to ride –
Back to those nifty ways.”

She said, “Let’s try a snowy afternoon delight
Then we could drink some hot toddies and dream of those tropic nights.”
And because I kept on shivering, I called to book a flight,
I yearned for nifty ways to leave my mukluks.

Tour the bay by kayak, Jack
Get a new tan, Stan
Cruise to St Croix, Roy
Get keen on Holguín.
Surf Los Cabos, Gus
Don’t need skates or puck much
Explore cays and keys, Lee
Just pack your sun-screen.

Scuba-dive off Arub’, Stu
Flake in Jamaic’, Jake
Swim nude in Bermud’, dude
Live what Beach Boys sing.
On lam in Baham’, Sam,
No need to trudge slush much
Just toke in Mo'Bay, mam'
A 'Kokomo' fling.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.3
How Funny: 2.3
Overall Rating: 2.3

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   7
 2   1
 3   2
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ked Sneaker - February 25, 2015 - Report this comment
I caught this yesterday on Grandpa's site DKTOS, but I get it. Splendid job, kid. I wish that fewer names of vacation spots were truncated, Is it that way in original? With no idea of pacing, I had to recuse myself on scoring. Don't own Mukluks, but security code is KED.
Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson - February 25, 2015 - Report this comment
Internal line rhyme-time/ Keep names of resorts short!/ Try to mime Simon/ The pacing is key./ Chop off end-sylls, Will/ The French think they’re frills, Gilles/ Truncation is free, Guy (pron. ‘ghee’)/ With poet’s ‘permis’.
K.S. - February 25, 2015 - Report this comment
Feeling like Chill Wills, Nils/ Off to Trinidad, Brad.
Patrick - February 25, 2015 - Report this comment
The only Kokomo I'm familiar with is a strip of US Highway 31 between snowy Indianapolis and frostbitten South Bend. In the old days of Citizen's Band Radio, the place was known as "Stoplight City". Took a long time to drive through there.
Jonathan - February 25, 2015 - Report this comment
apparently I live in one of the few areas with the OPPOSITE problem even when it DOES snow here it melts away too soon... 5's
Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson - February 26, 2015 - Report this comment
@Jon Thanks. @Patrick / Wiki "Kokomo", Joe/ Beach Boys' biggest hit, Kit/ Fiction for a flick, Rick/ Off the FL Keys./ That town in IN, friend/ I'll have to dispell.... Well/ It's not where it's at, Pat/ Get your facts straight, please.
GM Cereals - March 02, 2015 - Report this comment
I'm Crazy for Kokomo! Nice Job!

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