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Song Parodies -> "Fifty Ways To Please The Posters"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Please The Posters"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I know I left out a whole bunch of my favorite authors...If the OS actually had fifty ways, I might have come closer to mentioning them all...
The goblins bring all this fright and dread, she said to me
The trollers are creepy if you take them literally
I'd like to help you win some chuckles and tee-hees
There must be fifty ways to please the posters

She said you really don't need rabbits to amuse
Furthermore, the doped up readers might get cross or feel confused
But I'll repeat myself with the wish to tweak your muse
There must be fifty ways to please the posters
Fifty ways to please the posters

Just flip out the flack, Jack
Coin a new phrase, Blaze
You don't need to raise hell, Mel
Just whistle and pee
Spell a nude blonde, John
You don't need to ad-lib, Rib
Just get off your arse, Farce
And go on a spree

Just rip out a rant, Ant
Shake a rude brat, Matt
You don't need to behave, Dave
Record one for me
Make the mob cry, Guy
You don't need to fling poo, Stu
Just hop to the top, COP
And claim victory

She said it peeves me so to read your spins so vain
I wish there were potions you could use to wake your childish brain
I said I'm a wheezy old rat and not one to complain
About the fifty ways

She said why don't we toast the peeps on AmIRight
And I believe all this mourning will begin to seem so slight
And then she kicked me and I realized I'd fin'lly seen the light
There must be fifty ways to please the posters
Fifty ways to please the posters

Just whip out the odes, Rhodes
Post a crude gag, Ag
You don't need a sex toy, Boy
Just ask TJC
Chop on the park, Mark
You don't need to drip sweat, Met
Just block out your id, Fid
And pair with TT

You just script out the sex, Rex
Pen a lewd gem, Em
You don't need to be curt, Turt
Just let the n00bs be
Mock on a whim, Tim
You don't need to dish swill, Phil
Just let it not end, Glen
Let's cheer ChuckyG!!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

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AFW - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Caught a good wave here, Leo...flows very nice
Barry J. Mitchel - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
I didn't realize that you'd concatenated your two names (thereby losing the link to your numerous works), but knew this couldn't have been written by a n00by. I don't feel slighted at being omitted, as the only way to condense my name to one syllable (Mitch) might tempt a naughty rhyming word.
Porfle Popnecker - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Great idea and execution!
Leo Keough - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, guys...

Barry: I concatenated my two names for today's parodies to solve another problem...I've been saving another song I've written to be posted as Leo Keough's 100th, but I'm waiting for the return of a bunch of my favorite authors before submitting that one...Today's entries were both tributes that I hoped might get that ball rolling...And you were right about the "one-syllable" handle abbreviation problem that kept me from getting some of my favorite authors into this parody.

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