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Song Parodies -> "50 Ways She Steals The Covers"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways To Leave Your Lover"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"50 Ways She Steals The Covers"

Parody Written by:

Dan Creeden

The Lyrics

For all the Cold, Cold Husbands Out There!!!!!!

I have this problem that occurs to me each night
As I awaken from my slumber, facing a frigid fright
I’m bare from head to toes, a husband’s scary sight
There must be fifty ways she steals the covers

No matter what I do it always the same tune
She’s wrapped herself up in a hibernating cocoon
As I’m left with hypothermia in my own bedroom
There must be fifty ways she steals the covers

Just use a hot glue gun, Son
Or some velcro, Roy
A box of nails, Dale
Enough is enough
Stake down your side, Clyde
So you don’t freeze off your behind
Just do what you can , Dan
To keep those covers up

Just use a hot glue gun, Son
Or some velcro, Roy
A box of nails, Dale
Enough is enough
Stake down your side, Clyde
So you don’t freeze off your behind
Just do what you can , Dan
To keep those covers up

This has been going on for over twenty years
A constant battle with results that’s always clear
An icy feel and a frozen bright blue rear
There must be fifty ways she steals the covers

The only good thing that I see from my bed ice chest
That one day I will be more famous than all the rest
I’ll be in Guinness Records with the World’s Smallest Penis
There must be fifty ways she steals the covers
Fifty ways she steals the covers

Just use a hot glue gun, Son
Or some velcro, Roy
A box of nails, Dale
Enough is enough
Stake down your side, Clyde
So you don’t freeze off your behind
Just do what you can , Dan
To keep those covers up

Just use a hot glue gun, Son
Or some velcro, Roy
A box of nails, Dale
Enough is enough
Stake down your side, Clyde
So you don’t freeze off your behind
Just do what you can , Dan
To keep those covers up

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   1
 0
 1
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 12
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - January 24, 2011 - Report this comment
WOW! I didn't know my wife had a twin sister! Talk about a frigid relationship! Fine parody once again from the Demo Man Dan. ;D
John Barry - January 24, 2011 - Report this comment
I'm the cover-stealer, so my wife will like this one, as I did.
UnderCoverDiva - January 24, 2011 - Report this comment
very cute write, Sir ; has a lot of truth to it . . . but doesn't anyone out there believe in 'dual Blankies' ? ?
TJC - January 24, 2011 - Report this comment
A nifty Fifty---clever stuff!
Phil Alexander - January 25, 2011 - Report this comment
OMR - must be triplets ;-)
Dan Creeden - January 25, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks for all the comments. Maybe I should invest in a Snuggie. :)
Susanna Viljanen - January 26, 2011 - Report this comment
I'II have three solutions: 1) Install lee clothes, just as if you were sleeping in a yacht bunk. 2) Get a sleeping bag. 3) Wrap yourself in a woollen cloak.

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