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Song Parodies -> "Fifty Ways To Leach Your Liver"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Leach Your Liver"

Parody Written by:

Leo Keough

The Lyrics

The throbbin' is all in spite of dread, she said to Fred
The cancer is breezy if you take some meds instead
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be dead
There must be fifty ways to leach your liver

She said the feeling's not so stabbin' when you're stewed
Furthermore, I hope my scheming won't be tossed or dissed as rude
Now I'll repeat myself at the risk of seeming shrewd
There must be fifty ways to leach your liver
Fifty ways to leach your liver

Just sip on the Jack, Mack
Slake a few cans, Dan
You don't need to enjoy, Troy
Just let your cells bleed
Slop a few Buds, Hud
You won't need to drip suds, Judd
Just top off with speed, Reed
And get yourself freed

Just trip out on crack, Zack
Shake a crude hand, Van
You don't need to eat soy, Floyd
Just whiff on the weed
Hop on the sluts, Dutch
You don't need to heed pus, Russ
Just pop off the seed, Bede
And let the cells breed

She said you'll leave me so much freer once you're maimed
I wish there was something I could do to make your bile inflamed
He said I appreciate that and what you have proclaimed
About the fifty ways

She said why don't we both just toke until we're tight
And I believe without warning you'll be higher than a kite
And then she listed all the easy ways to expedite my plight
There must be fifty ways to leach your liver
Fifty ways to leach your liver

Just flip on the smack, Shaq
Take a few grams, Sam
You don't need to avoid, Lloyd
Just get yourself keyed
Sop up the slush, Rush
You won't need to dip muck, Buck
Just mop up the treats, Clete
And let your belt cede

You just black out and drift, Cliff
Plan for your wake, Jake
You seek joy in your feat, Pete
Just whistle in glee
Trust in the pot, Scott
You won't need any cash, Lash
Just make a new will, Bill
And leave it to me

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   21
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 21
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment
wonderfully demented concept..."you don't have to heed pus, russ".....too funny !
Mark Scotti - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Brilliant commentary, Leo. Really drives the point home(Like a nail in a coffin!!!)
Phil Alexander - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment
But Leo - from cirrhosis I have not much liver left
And I've got hepatitis, A, B, C, D, E and F
I'm jaundiced and necrotic, and soon I'll be bereft
Because of...
:-) I see what you mean
Glen S - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment
THis is awesome and I hope to see it in one, if not several, tourneys. Great work Leo.
'trip out on crack, Zack'
and
'Hop on the sluts, Dutch'
stood out especially for me
Timmy1000 - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Lots of great lines in here, Leo. Or as Cheech would say, just puff on the bong, Chong.
Andy Primus - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Excellent - very funny
Main'liner - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Perfection! (think I saw my life flash before my jaundiced eyes!)
Jeff Reuben - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment
My liver begged me to read this one. I was impressed, I expected an entire song about drinking and while it was in there, I liked that you expanded to other areas of indulgence :)
Tim Hall - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Addicting!
LadyPepsi - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Enjoyed the "Hud" ref, Sir ! . . . . Grab your COKE ~ Don't forget your TAB ~ but leave your RED BULL, hey, leave it on your shoulder ~ SPRITE's so sweet on the PEPSI side of the street ~ Used to chug GATORADE with MtnDEW in the shade.
Jim Rotondo - April 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Incredible and perfectly insane!
Leo Keough - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks all!
Mark Scotti - May 17, 2009 - Report this comment
SOTM - As I wrote earlier, Leo, this was brilliant, and says a lot!
Peter Andersson - May 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Now you'all tell me... but maybe I can get a new liver...
Matthias (SOTM) - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
I never liked liver anyways... Good parody even though I never really liked the original song.
bobpiecheese - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) i was completely lost on this one. Could not understand the basic concept whatsoever. Seeing as how everyone else did, however, it is my fault, not yours. I'll beon my way, then.
Claude Prez - May 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Wow, some really clever matches there. Not laugh out loud funny but really, really clever.
Below Average Dave - May 31, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yeah, I have to say--not sure what was going on in this one (crickets in the dark) but very good rhyming, and to an OS that's always fun to revisit
Invisible Boy - May 31, 2009 - Report this comment
I loved the idea, Leo.
You had me at "I'd like to help you in your struggle to be dead"
David Crosby thanks you as well...
P.S....funny...my v-word is "XS2"
Arwen - May 31, 2009 - Report this comment
SOTM..."50 Ways..." parodies always make me giggle, Leo, and this was no exception. Impressive and clever...nice work!
Glen S - May 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Even better second time around Leo. Keep on leechin'
Leo Keough - June 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks to everyone for their kind and constructive comments!!!
Special thanks to Mark, Glen, Peter, Invisible Boy, Jeff, Phil and Arwen for your generous votes!!!
Thanks in particular to Glen for encouraging me to participate in the SOTM comp.!!!
Agrimorfee - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTY) Best title in the round. Creative name-drops all over the place. And underneath it, a very dark issue played for laughs. Nice stuff, Leo!
Mark Scotti - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTY) Everybody needs a good leeching, sometime! Fantastic!
Arwen - March 10, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTY...I giggled again. ; ) Nice...
Invisible Boy - March 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Fun to read again...
EmiLoca - April 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Super clever title sub and fun to read.
DJ Blaze - April 09, 2010 - Report this comment
DEMENTED. 555
Below Average Dave - April 11, 2010 - Report this comment
See above

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