TONY:
The problem faced by you is how to fullfill destiny
The answer is in how to get rid of Charlie
So we will lend our two cents on the struggle do this deed
There must be fifty ways to knock off Charlie.

You see it's really not my habit to intrude
But we have a list of ways you and your pals may want to use
So I'll repeat myself in hope of getting Claire and Aaron rescued.
There must be fifty ways to knock off Charlie
Fifty ways to knock of Charlie. (Take it away, Paulie.)


PAULIE:
(Thanks, Tee.)
Just a shiv in his back, Jack
Booby-trap is his guitar, Jarrah
You see Charlie's doom, Hume,
Will set Claire and Aaron free.
Grab the DHARMA bus, Hugo
Run over his head nice and slow
Just like with Phil Lee-
-otardo in our very last show.

Cut his kidney sack, Jack
A tried and true plan, man
It will get you an Emmy, M.D.
Just listen to me.
A bomb in his Paper Mate, Kate
The same one that he wrote "fate"
Just a li'l TNT, see,
Can right this destiny.


TONY:
Desmond, this is causing Paulie great emotional pain
He comes to tears thinking of Claire and Aaron again
I know you can appreciate that, and so we go explain
About the fifty ways.

Sure, sure, you go just sleep on it tonight
I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light
This girl in this photo -- she's named Penny, aint that right?
It would be a shame if something happened to your lover
Whacking Pace will save your lover.


PAULIE:
Forget about the shiv in the back, Jack
I got a new plan, man.
This will knock off Char-lie,
Take it from me.
Pop on this tune, Hume.
It has that pop-rock touch.
By a band called Journey.
"Don't Stop Believing".

Have some onion rings.....


[spoken:]
PAULIE: sniff, sniff....Tee, I can't go on. Stop the music, stop the music!
[music stops]
TONY: Paulie, why are you crying?
PAULIE: sniff. I keep on thinking about Claire and baby Aaron not getting rescued because of that little bast'd Charlie still breathing. It's killing me inside, Tee, I'm tellin' ya' it's killing me! Lemme' go to Lost Island and take care of the little piece of garbage, myself.
TONY: Relax, Paulie. The Losties will take care of it. Desmond got our message, loud and clear....And on key, I am proud to say.