The feeling of overwhelming dread comes over me
The ending comes quite quickly and even tragically
No one to help me in my struggle just to breathe
There must be fifty ways to meet your maker

Don't want to be part of a stabbing interlude
Lock the door I hope not to become some slimy creatures food
But I'll repent my sins, in the hopes of getting through
There must be fifty ways to meet your maker
Fifty ways to meet your maker

A scythe in the back, jack
Meet the wolfman, stan
You buy a possessed toy, roy
Just try not to pee
Lop off a head, fred
Signs not to be misread then
It's Christopher Lee, flee
In bloodsucking glee

The tomb has been cracked, jack
Bad fam'ly clan, stan
A Damien named boy, roy
Just listen for screams
Don't give in to lust, gus
You will suffer knife thrusts just
On this halloween, lee
A boogie man spree

The open graves spew zombies to munch on my brains
I wish there was someway I could see it coming from Claude Rains
I try to coagulate fast, but no one can explain
About the fifty ways

It's said try not to go to sleep during the night
And if alive in the morning you'll be safer in the light
But then the globe keeps warming, which is just as much a fright
There must be fifty ways to cool the planet
Fifty ways to cool the planet

Just winterize your shack, jack
Recycle cans, stan
Eat more meatless soy, roy
And plant some tall trees
Buy a Prius, gus
Carpool or ride the bus much
Turn down the degrees, lee
Don't be bourgeoisie

Just stuff your backpack, jack
Live off the land, stan
Windmills you'll deploy, roy
Become a hippie
Tie dye your bus, gus
Save organics and thus mulch
A hut in a tree, lee
And live among leaves