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Song Parodies -> "Cochran's Most Famous Words (Doesn't Fit)"

Original Song Title:

"Picasso's Last Words (Drink To Me)"

Original Performer:

Paul McCartney and Wings

Parody Song Title:

"Cochran's Most Famous Words (Doesn't Fit)"

Parody Written by:

Steve Kalafut

The Lyrics

While the media vultures continue to hover around Terri Schiavo, they've had much less to say about the death of Johnnie Cochran. Pronounce her last name "shy-vo".
Well, Johnnie Cochran died last night
The lawyer for OJ
Known mainly for the Simpson trial
Remember what he did say

Doesn't fit, you must acquit
You know the glove won't fit his hand
Doesn't fit, you must acquit
You know the glove must be a plant

I'd been reading 'bout Schiavo
Lying there in her bed
I didn't know 'bout Johnnie
And I had no idea that he
Had a tumor in his head

Doesn't fit, you must acquit
You know the glove won't fit his hand
Doesn't fit, you must acquit
You know the glove must be a plant

[interlude, in the "preachy" style of African-American oration]

Glove....doesn't fit

Does not fit....must acquit
Mr. Cochran's style of speaking at the Simpson trial was said to be "preachy". He would later explain that this style had its origins in Africa, and is not intended only for religious speeches, which is merely the one setting where non-blacks have most commonly heard it.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Charlie Decker - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but a "fitting" tribute to a great man. Thanks, Steve.
Royce Miller - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
enjoyed this, Steve; I hope Johnny Cochran has run into Nicole Brown Simpson on his journey, what an encounter that would be
Marcia Clark - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
He helped set a murderer free, but he used his skill and my incompetence to his client's advantage. 5s
Charlie Decker - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Ya see, here's the problem. Cochran was a great lawyer and a great humanitarian. However, the only thing he'll even be remembered for is that he helped a man who probably murdered somebody free. It bums me out.
Royce Miller - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
"Marcia"---His "skill" is more accurately described as pulling the race card in the OJ trial--and the race card fit.
Red Ant - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
555 for you. While the OJ trial was a complete mess, he was a great lawyer.
Rex - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
What would the opposite have been? "If the glove fits his hand, you must kill this man"?
Steve K. - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, everyone. My first recollection of Johnnie C. is when he represented Reginald Denny, the truckdriver who was pulled from his truck and clobberred by rioters, when he sued the city of LA for failing to protect him.
Michael Pacholek - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
If he's at heaven's gate, don't player-hate.

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