You're so hairless, Uncle Fester
You're so hairless, just that white skin on your brain
You're so hairless, Uncle Fester
And you're sort of overweight
And I believe that you're insane

You're so hairless and we haven't seen the Thing all day
You're so hairless, Uncle Fester
But if Cousin Itt should drop in, he might loan you some of his

(You're so hairless, Uncle Fester
And that light bulb in your mouth looks bright today
You're so hairless, Uncle Fester
And Morticia has a boil that I must now go pop away)

Gomez has a daughter (slaughter)
Pugsley's gonna die
Gomez has a daughter (slaughter)
Pugsley's gonna die

Bill-i-ard Ballsey, it just won't grow
Got shadows under eyes like Green Day's Billy Joe
I had another look and he reminded me so
Of a gutter guy

(The gutter kicked him out so we put him on a show)

Gomez has a daughter (slaughter)
Pugsley's gonna fry
Gomez has a daughter (slaughter)
Pugsley's gonna fry

Lurch not little, he a butler, talkin' low (Talkin' low)
And he move a little slow,
He not little, eight foot fo'
Lurch not little, he a butler, talkin' low (Talkin' low)
And he move a little slow,
He not little, eight foot fo'

Gomez has a daughter (slaughter)
Pugsley, say goodbye
Gomez has a daughter (slaughter)
Pugsley, say goodbye