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Song Parodies -> "If You Wanna Win In Vegas"

Original Song Title:

"If You Wanna Get To Heaven"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Ozark Mountain Daredevils

Parody Song Title:

"If You Wanna Win In Vegas"

Parody Written by:

blackjack21

The Lyrics

I'm heading back to Las Vegas at the end of next month, so it's time to get warmed up with some blackjack/gambling parodies. Remember folks, if you want to win in Vegas, play blackjack. And if you want to win at blackjack, learn how to count cards. Luck will only take you so far and will always run out in the end. The trick is to count cards without looking like you're doing it, so keep a low profile and don't draw attention to yourself. Everything you do in a casino is being captured by a security camera somewhere, so be sure to smile. ;-)
I wanna make a little bet
I'm gonna watch my money grow
When you get the final tally
Keep me off the T.V. shows
If you wanna make the money
You gotta take a little hell
If you wanna win in Vegas
You better play your blackjack well

I never felt the need to cheat
It only puts you in a hole
You can always make a rally
If your mind can take control
If you wanna keep your secret
You better hide your little tells
If you can't escape detection
You better never ring their bells

I always thought it would be easy
I always thought that I'd have fun
But I slid down to the valley
Before I found out how it's done
If you wanna try an angle
It only works for just a spell
If you wanna roll a seven
You're gonna throw your chips to hell

If you wanna win in Vegas
Then you must escape detection
If you wanna roll a seven
Then you'll never win in Vegas...

What's bet in Vegas doesn't have to stay in Vegas!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Warren Baker - January 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Always liked the OS, and since I'm a veteran of many trips to Lost Wages, I certainly appreciated your descriptions. I'm a roulette guy myself, knowing full well the odds are way stacked. Here are three $5 chips. Double-down if you can.
Mark Scotti - January 25, 2010 - Report this comment
i'll "bet' you'll do well, as does this parody!!!
Old Man Ribber - January 25, 2010 - Report this comment
When you're in a casino, remember...Paybacks Are Hell! ;D
DivaLasVegas - January 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Ohhh . . when that Cowboy "Clicks his spurs" I go to RENO, not HisPanola . . . When we play, we climb to RENO that's in Nevada . . .
Christie Marie M - January 25, 2010 - Report this comment
You'll '"bet" I give you 5's! Another enjoyable "blackjack" parody from you, 21! Love the "escape detection" lines in your song. One of my friends won $1000 in blackjack, but unfortunately got robbed as soon as we left the Showboat casino. Good luck in Vegas!
AFW - January 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Very good advice
blackjack21 - January 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Warren: Roulette, ouch! Well, it beats slots. Thanks for the red chips!

Mark: I hope you win your "bet", thanks for comment!

OMR: I try to stay out of Hell as much as possible. ;-)

DivaLV: Truckin' to the Truckee Meadows, say hello to Harold for me.
blackjack21 - January 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Christie: Thanks for vote & comment, never be a showboat with your cash! But too bad for your friend.

AFW: Thanks, man.
Andria - January 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Great job on one of my favorite OSes. I know I've said this before, but I cannot gamble without leaving the casino or even a bar or restaurant with video-poker, slot, keno or video lottery machines or any combination thereof, flat broke. Of course, the fact that I spend a lot of time around roulette, craps, keno, slots and offtrack horse and greyhound betting for gambling might have something to do with that. Good luck in Vegas, and here's $555 to get you started.
ShamrockDiva - January 26, 2010 - Report this comment
BJ-21, Oh, how i wish I was in RENO ! not HisPanola! CowBoy says sometime in March . . .
blackjack21 - January 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Andria: Forget those other games, you need to play blackjack!!! ;-) Thanks for the bankroll booster!

LuckyDiva: Hang on baby, March is just around the corner, save your money! :-)

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