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Song Parodies -> "Please Sister Please"

Original Song Title:

"Please Mister. Please"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Olivia Newton-John

Parody Song Title:

"Please Sister Please"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

DKTOS Click HERE

In the basement of the church there is a call box,
With a microphone acoustic to speak through.
And the bingo cards will each cost you a quarter,
You can buy yourself a lot or just a few.

I just hope I'm lucky with that old ball counter,
It's not like this game's real taxing on the brain.
Then some button marking killjoy screams like King Kong,
And here I sit just missing it again.

Please, Sister, Please, call out I-17,
It's been so long, it's just so wrong, can't get over.
Please, Sister, please, I could so use some green,
I may never hear that number called that wins.

If I had a dime for every time I won you,
I'd like have ten cents, I'm lucky as can be.
I just gotta win some money from that cash till,
Or tomorrow I'll be filin' bankruptcy.

I'm just hopin' for some money I could gather;
'Cause it's for sure I will be losin' my behind.
Just some notes that have that legal tender texture,
Got that payment on my Chevy on my mind.

Please, Sister, Please, call out I-17,
Just need one drawn, get my game on, 'fore it's over.
Please, Sister, please, it would be oh so keen,
I just want to win a bingo on this spin.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Mark Scotti - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Straight BINGO pays $555.00!!!
metaphorsbwithu - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Bingo's very popular around here. I passed a bingo hall the other night and the parking lot was JAMMED. Must be the recession. Nicely done.
adagio - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
hehe...good job, Guy 5's
AFW - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
You've captured the essence and flavor of the dabber game that attracts many ladies, and some men, and especially oldsters, very well...I, however, hate the game..more attracted to slots, more than I should be, 'cause it really is a rip off, too...very good work.
Month-End Broke Fiddlegirl - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
There're a lottery-sons to go to Bingo instead of slots, scratch-off games, etc. But I confess I never win at any of them, either. : (

This was a great idea, and well-played to boot! (sorry, couldn't resist.)
Rex - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Lovely bit o' writing on this one... I was in Australia once and I THOUGHT they asked me if I wanted to go to a bingo parlor, and the next thing I know I'm in a conference room with a pack of wild dogs!
Guy - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark - Recently I was playing a scratch off bingo lottery ticket and made the X. The game had four cards. Making an X gets you the grand prize on card number 4, Mine was on card number one which paid $100.00. I wish it was $555.00. Thanks!

Metaphorsbwithu - Obe-won-at-bingo - He's Kenobe's cousin. And yeah, the Bingo parlors are jam packed around here as well. Thanks Force.

Ms, Pat - Thanks for the giggles.

Farce - I usually about break even at slots, except the time I was in Tucson, Az wasting time on a Native American Reservation near the airport engaged playing slots in their casino. I had time to kill before my flight departed. I was winning like mad and had to quit or miss my flight. I just made my flight. But I know if I had more time I would have probably given it all back to the one armed coin muncher. Thanks, Farce.

Hey Fiddlegirl - I have four 5's you can have until you get paid. I hate it when the money runs out before the month does. It can make you feel so broke that you can't even pay attention. Spend a buck before lottery drawing tonight on the Texas Two Step - Billboard on expressway coming home tonight from work advertized around $885,000.00 jackpot. Thanks for commenting. I've come close to hitting it big several times. Back in the 90's I missed cash five by one number. I had the first four numbers and the last number was one off. I won around $485.00. There was one winning ticket and it paid out $109,000.00. At least I didn't have to pay any tax. This was back when Cash 5 had 39 numbers and the payoffs were larger. Thanks for commenting.

Rex - Gol-dingo, did ya get bit? And that's what you get for being named Rex. =;-) j/k But I just can't leave a good jab lie. I like your Dingo story. Thanks for weighing in.
alvin - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
hilarious concept that fit the plaintive tone of the original quite well...you put the "oh" into bingo here
Guy - August 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Alvin - Unfortunately a bingo for my parody character looks like a strong contender to becoming a bingone, Thanks, buddy.
LittleCatLicker - August 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Great write Sir Guy, ~ the Mighty Marquis der Bingo ~ . . . very cute, however I don't recall any " nuns " attending the actual event ? ? ~Evening Vespers~ were the only entertainment allowed for the Good Sisters, Sir Guy!
Guy - August 25, 2009 - Report this comment
M[lady Oh yeah - that's my bad and I should have known when I penned the parody Nuns'll Getcha - it does say very plainly in that parody that "They keep bingo records". It says nothing of them running a gamblin' house. But ya know, I bet that they do some number calling in some of the churches of the RC variety. Thanks for your kind commentary.

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