-> "Please Vista™ Please (Microsoft®)"
Original Song Title:
"Please Mr. Please" (MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Please Vista™ Please (Microsoft®)"
In the corner of the den sits my computer
With an operating system that's brand new
Now I fear some jive "exception" when I boot her
And a bloody scream at screen of death of blue
Since I ditched my good ol' XP™: Gross encounter!
After seven years, they had it running well
But that Vista-pushin' Bill G. splayed his bug throng
And here I am stuck in computer hell
Please, Vista, please, don't pop up on the screen
No more errors, no more "access violations"
Geez, Vista, geez, you've foobarred my machine
I will never buy a new OS again!
If I had a dime for every time it's frozen
Or been in shop, though under warranty
I would swear I'd be as rich as Redmond's rich guy
With the money that he stole from you and me
How I wish that Bill would get his act together
'Cause in his cleft, I'd love to shove up his behind
DVDs of installation (rotate sideways)
Say, "So long" and reinstall "Win '99"! 
Please, Vista, please, had enough of that scene
No more printing; message hinting: "Missing driver"
Cheese, Vista, cheese! Should be thrown in latrine
"Windows 7"? Think I'll wait for "Windows 10!"
 actually, properly titled "Windows 98 Second Edition™"; (commonly, "98 SE"), even though it was released in May of 1999, because the First Edtion -- yer not gonna believe this, folks! -- was too full of bugs to be tolerable. 98 SE, which was on TT's first puter, was much better than the first try --as usual.
"The release of Windows 98 was preceded by a notable press demonstration at Comdex in April 1998. Microsoft CEO Bill Gates was highlighting the operating system's ease of use and enhanced support for Plug and Play (PnP). However, when presentation assistant Chris Capossela plugged a scanner in and attempted to install it, the operating system crashed, displaying a Blue Screen of Death. Gates remarked after applause and cheering from the audience, "That must be why we're not shipping Windows 98 yet." Video footage of this event became a popular Internet phenomenon."
TT refused to buy new "XP" when released in 2001, knowing by now, "Never buy Microsoft's first version of *anything". (They test it on us.) By the time the old puter died, in 2005, XP had gone through two Service Packs and four years of patching, and was actually pretty good. Of course, they had originally targeted the new system, Vista, to be released in 2003. It kept getting pushed farther and farther back -- thank goodness -- so that XP had time to stabilize and mature. It is the longest-lived MS OS ever, partly because of the numerous screw-ups in getting Vista out, partly because when the end of support for XP was first announced, there was a firestorm of protest. Its support date has been repeatedly extended, and if you look carefully, you can still find new computers with XP on it. Or, like TT''s 2008 purchase, with Vista pre-installed, but with disks to upgrade it to XP. (Microsoft calls that a "downgrade". Ha!C; So this is fictional. -- have never used Vista; heard many wails from those whe did. Need a Win puter? Find an XP, or wait for Windows 7™ later this year -- TT has a high-tech contact who's been beta-testing (pre-public-release testing) Win 7 for a year and a half, and says it's a great improvement over Vista. It will also be the first MS OS ever to use fewer resources (less memory, less hard drive space) than its predecessor, the resource-hog subject of this song.
Your Vote & Comment Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they
appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to
leave a comment below about this parody.
|How Funny: ||5.0|
|Overall Rating: ||5.0|
|Total Votes: ||5|
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| || || || ||Pacing|| ||How Funny|| ||Overall Rating|
| ||1|| ||0||
| ||2|| ||0||
| ||3|| ||0||
| ||4|| ||0||
| ||5|| ||5||