I asked my date
to take a walk
to Upper Deck
for a little "talk"
Under a bridge
our boat had cruised
t'was dark and cold
how could I lose?

I planned tonight
that she'd be mine
I used my best
romantic lines
and as I said
"let's go to bed"
a great big turd
fell on her head

startled, she gasped
"My God, what's that?"
I said "shh, shh"
and threw it back
and as we start-
ed to make love
a yellow flood
poured from above

"eee - ew, what's that!?!?"
my love complained
I whispered back
"a spot of rain"
I needed some
-how to divert
her, so I could
undo her shirt

alas, she twigged
it was a lie
and so she looked
up to the sky
t'was not what she
would've hoped to see
two million logs
dropping on we

as I came to
and dug us out
sadly I knew
I'd go without
completely drenched
in sh** and pi**
din't even GET
a goodnight kiss!