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Song Parodies -> "Cortes the Drunk Driver"

Original Song Title:

"Cortez the Killer"

Original Performer:

Neil Young

Parody Song Title:

"Cortes the Drunk Driver"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

AUBURN -- For the fourth time in four years, Andres Lopez-Cortes pleaded guilty to a charge of driving under the influence of intoxicants. For the second time, the 31-year-old Auburn man received a jail sentence of one year. He is also an illegal immigrant who has been deported to his native Mexico at least once, only to return to the area.In addition to the DUI charge, Lopez-Cortes, 31, pleaded guilty Monday in Auburn Municipal Court to a charge of hit-and-run driving for rear-ending a car on the afternoon of Dec. 31, 2003, injuring an Auburn teenager. Judge Patrick Burns fined Lopez-Cortes $5,000, but suspended $3,500, and ordered him to pay court costs and restitution for damages to the car and medical bills. -
He came dancin' across the border
With his gallon jug of rum
Lookin' for a new road
And some drunk El Norte fun

Found a town up near Seattle
With cheap liquor stores and girls
Down it's streets often meandered
Out car windows puke he hurled

And the po-lice gathered round him
After one drunk driving spree
And they saw he had a license
Origin a mystery

And the judges all were dutiful
The max term one year long
His fun is interupted now
But come next year, it goes on

(Mournful, drunken guitar wails)

Now an unknown legend
His story barely told
The writers who could tell it
To PC interests sold

Not sure if he'll be deported
Prob'ly useless anyway
More cheap labor, votes are courted
He'll be back another day

And we know he doesn't care
About fines required to pay
Until he's dead or kills someone
He'll drive in El Norte

He came dancin' across the border
Drunken driver

He came dancin' across the border
Drunken driver
Original lyrics -

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
i love the original song....parody was very funny, though...5s
mac - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin. This is one of my favorites too.
Birgitta - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
A well written parody here Mac.How sad! Gotta admit to a DUI myself though years ago. GJ :-D
mac - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Birg. Wow, it's hard to believe only a couple people here know this song, it's on Decade, Live Rust, Weld...
Charlie Decker - May 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Great song choice, mac. Funny story: I went to see Greendale at Radio City Music Hall a couple months ago, and all throughout the performance a fat, drunk guy two rows down from me kept standing up and shouting "Hey, Neil! F*** Greendale! Play Cooorrrrrttttteeeezzz!!!!!" The guy was thrown out after a while, but Neil did play Cortez as the last encore. But I digress. Nice parody.
mac - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Charlie. I'm looking forward to seeing Neil in concert again sometime... hope he keeps playing forever.

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