Oh to drink from booger fountain
With that snotnose in my 2nd grade class.
You can’t drink plenty from booger fountain
Though your drinking leads to endless gastric gas.
Endless gastric gas.

It’s so runny in his nose
He’s got sniffles never blows.
And the bad cold that he had
And his ugly pants of plaid.

Oh to drink from booger fountain
Bigger nostrils than the colored baboons.
You can get sick from booger fountain
Though they say that drinking water’s good for you.
Water’s good for you.

Kid’s a connoisseur of snot
Pickin’ hundreds, quite a lot.
Sticks ‘em underneath his desk
Lots of greenery grotesque.

Oh to drink from booger fountain
Pinky product from the sticky lagoon.
You can’t flick goblets from booger fountain
Grungy globs belong in someone’s brass spittoon,
In someone’s brass spittoon.

So I booby-trapped his shoes
With some instant stick’em glues.
Now he walks around in socks
Like a-hole without a fox.

Oh to drink from booger fountain
Elementary school was my first platoon.
Low water pressure from booger fountain
Clogging pipes on mostly Thirstday afternoons
Thirstday afternoons.

Such a bully so uncool
Hope he’s kicked out of our school.
Otherwise I’ll skip the bus
And avoid this little cuss.

Oh to drink from booger fountain
With that snotnose in my 2nd grade class.
You can’t drink plenty from booger fountain
Though your drinking leads to endless gastric gas.
Endless gastric gas.