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Song Parodies -> "We Have No Maps"

Original Song Title:

"I Am I Said"

Original Performer:

Neil Diamond

Parody Song Title:

"We Have No Maps"

Parody Written by:

Shawna 'Spooky' Lowman

The Lyrics

For those who aren't "U.S. Americans" and haven't seen this all over the talk shows yet, you might want to watch a clip of Miss Teen South Carolina to better understand this parody... Click here for short Youtube video
'Mer'ca's fine, the sun shines most the time
But there's something that we lack
Aint big cars, nor Hollywood stars
Bet you know what I'm talking about
It's our lack of maps

Well I'm Houston, Texas born and raised
But nowadays, I'm so confused, I was
Miss Teen, South Ca-ro-line'
Says I don't have an ed-u-ca-tion

We have no maps
It's globes we lack
And that is why that we can't
Help the Iraq
I'm lost, I cried
God, where am I?
And U.S. A-mer-i-cans do not know why
Can't help South Africa

Did you ever hear about a girl who dreamed of helping Asia
But cannot find where
Like, except for the names of a few other nations
Like such as the Iraq, we could build our future

But I do personally believe that
If we had maps we could find it you know
And I'd like to help countries and stuff
But I never cared for finding my way back to home

We have no maps
For the Iraq
And no one's children do not
Even know jack
I cannot find
Where I reside
And I am lost and I don't even know why

We have no maps!
For the Iraq!
We have...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

TJC - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Very funny and thanks for the link... hadn't seen that.... WOW! She came off, to say the least...BADLY! When you look in the dictionary under 'crash & burn' that's the picture/vid you'll see! To be fair, I'm sure the pressure-cooker situation contributed to her debacle.. I feel for her (and her family's) internet-hyped embarrassment.
Robert J. Pagliaro - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
This was good.
Alan Hochbaum - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Very funny! Good lyrics and pacing. I think if we could've seen an ex-ray of her head during that incident, it would've been like a Rube Goldberg creation. And somehow, the rat wasn't interested in the cheese.
John Barry - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
She sounds nearly as inchorent as Dubya.
Shawna 'Spooky' Lowman - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks for the votes and comments, you guys. :)
John Jenkins - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Very good choice of target and original song. Since Miss Teen South Carolina was 3rd runner up, this makes one wonder about those who finished behind her.
Red Ant - September 11, 2007 - Report this comment
I dislike the original; this is sooo much better. Execllent work, Shawna. John: She finished 4th? She must have been better using her mouth for things other than orating...
Shawna 'Spooky' Lowman - September 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks John and Red Ant. :)
Alan Hochbaum - September 11, 2007 - Report this comment
You inspired me to write "Teen Caroline". Thanks
Michael Pacholek - September 11, 2007 - Report this comment
To be totally honest, she has a point: A lot of people in America don't have maps. Of course, for some of them, it wouldn't do any good. George W. Bush, for example.
Shawna 'Spooky' Lowman - September 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Michael. And you too, Alan. I'll be on the look out for your version. :)

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