Looked in my 'frigerator
And had to sigh
Huntin' some breakfast- maybe eggs and fries
I stared in consternation
Some lox and mold
And one old stale bag of Oreos

Now it's a mighty long way to the grocery stores
And the cupboard's got only a can of Coors
And a roll of old Tums and some unlabeled jars
(looks like) Hollandaise for breakfast

Well I grabbed the Oreos you know
Just had to munch
Crumbled granola bar
I'll keep for lunch
Cheese spread made
Box of crullers taste kinda lame
Ten packs of condiments
Code was out of date

Now I a-really long for Wheat Chex or rolls
Not this smashed cold sh*tty bag of Oreos
And I'd just settle for
Canned pineapples from Dole
(not) Hollandaise for breakfast

Now in the crisper drawer's nary a veg'table
Pour that hollandaise sauce in my cereal bowl
Add some nine-day old plantains
And last month's casserole
Hollandaise for breakfast

Now I'm a-choosin between old stale wheat germ
And some stained store-bought can of hearts of palm
And I'm a downhearted young man
See my choices are firm:
Hollandaise for breakfast

And now my stomach's startin' to glurg and growl
It's a goddamn pity 'bout those Oreos
Food on offer is blah
And I'm wantin' Pop 'n' Fresh Rolls
(not) Hollandaise for breakfast