Why do I get bad indigestion
every morning around four?
I must get up and get the "Pepto"
Oh-oh, I'm out, I must get more

When I eat pasta - that's Italian
that my stomach does, indeed
get painful, burning indigestion
some medication I do need

The awful taste of stomach acid
does come rising up my throat
that acid reflux burns when swallowed
that's what those Di-gel pills are for

I'll feel OK very briefly
after I take three of these
Yeah, right away I feel relief, man
I feel well enough to eat

I will not stop eating "Italian"
tasty sauces and mushrooms
And I'll keep eating that linguine
and that minestrone soup

That food goes well with most any red wine
And certain dishes also go well with white
and when I do eat veal scallopini
I choose to slowly chew
Good tasting, tender, too

Between the salad and the main course
appetizers I will eat
some nice fried clams, calamari
it is such a tasty treat

But then, oy vey - the next morning
my stomach feels abused
I lay in bed farting freely
It stinks up the whole damn room

I still feel full; my stomach's full of gas
I take some pills; to make this discomfort pass
I'm feel so queasy; I need some fast relief
I muse; it's overdue
I lay there; still feel screwed
still farting bad, P.U.
This burning in my gut
It's just driving me nuts

And then next day I'm in a meeting
I'm in pain beyond belief
From what I ate the prior evening
I feel like I'm gonna heave

This doggone acid indigestion
it's gonna drive me up the wall
my guts are maxed-out; hi-compression
from all that food on which I gorged

I gotta stop eating Italian
yes, I must watch what food I eat
or else I'll get bad indigestion
and might need ulcer surgery

The doorbell rings, now I go answer
The pizza guy's now at my door...