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Song Parodies -> "Onan"

Original Song Title:

"Joanne"

Original Performer:

Mike Nesmith

Parody Song Title:

"Onan"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

Intro: See Genesis 38: 6-10

Original song on YouTube

His name was Onan
And he lived in an era kind of odd
And he reached us in some verses
From a Book that spoke a bit of his mislove

‘Cus the woman that he wed was affinitive relation
As the law of Levite decreed in-law sis-gestation
But Onan’s not the man, did the crime, that brought him undone

He was wed to the girl
Thy Tamar - belle - but On’ could not foresee
For that Judah his dad
Said ‘For brother Er that snuffed surrogate be’

Not wanting an heir to fulfil fraternal mission
Poked ‘round her desires and that slight bit of jism
He did spill on his shoes all too soon (that guy, he would be sprung)

Now his essence is gone
I am a-feared Top Guy demurred
Oh why, tiny spots, did leave behind?

His name was Onan
Once he lived, now he’s deadoed by his God
Was too much - the Lord, did torment
With one look, he’s croaked, for his neglectful love

For the woman that he plugged craved a legal procreation
But Onan did intend interrupted copulation
Poor Onan, for this man’s no desire to make her a son
Sure, Onan, his game plan’s not sublime – it made God’s blood run

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 5
 5
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Leough - September 18, 2014 - Report this comment
555! An opus of biblical proportions!
John Barry - September 18, 2014 - Report this comment
A masturpiece.
Rob Arndt - September 18, 2014 - Report this comment
God was angry because Onan broke Levirate Marriage by having intercourse with Tamar but refusing to get her pregnant by pulling out. He disgraced himself, Tamar, and the memory of his slain brother Er. This example has been misused by the Catholic Church against contraception and by Rabbis and some Christian denominations against masturbation. Both are false. Onan was disobedient and evil in denying Tamar a child. YHWH struck him down. Btw, God is a spirit and has no blood to boil. Jesus (the Word made flesh) was not born until 7 BC during Tishri. FYI
Timmy1000 - September 18, 2014 - Report this comment
I hadn't heard this OS before, or the group. All I remember was his stint with the Monkees. The writing on this was outstanding in following the song - good for 5's Not being biblical, I leave the story up to you, but it was well told.
Rob Arndt - September 18, 2014 - Report this comment
Btw, forgot to mention that I gave you 555 for the parody, even though we are diametrically opposed on almost everything. I wrote my comments above due to the abuses with that scripture as I listed, but your parody follows what happened well. I'm a bit surprised, however, that no one asked me about Jesus' birthdate...!
Andy Primus - September 18, 2014 - Report this comment
I echo Timmy’s comment. The actual story went completely over my head. That cheesy Barry Manilow song sprang to mind as soon as I read the first line. 555
WarrenB - September 20, 2014 - Report this comment
I'm actually familiar with the story, being the fallen Baptist I am. Can't say I'd ever thought the story would be put to music, but, dang, here it is. Lots of great 'wrath' stories in the Old Testament. Personally, I'm more of a New Testament kind of guy. Less wrath, more forgiveness and redemption.
Meriadoc - September 21, 2014 - Report this comment
Thank you everyone for the comments and votes. I was delighted when we began this one to see that the OS contained the word 'prism' - heh heh.

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