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Song Parodies -> "The Wreck of the Thanksgiving Dinner"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Michael Pacholek

Parody Song Title:

"The Wreck of the Thanksgiving Dinner"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

It's been a while since I cooked up my specialty: An Eddie Fitz parody. Hopefully, none of this has happened, or will happen, to you. But if it has, you'll understand.
The legend lives on from the Patxuet on down
of the land that they call Mos-we-tu-set.
The Pilgrims, it's said, were starved nearly to dead
'til old Squanto showed them how to do it.

With a load of good corn, a hundred and one shorn
of the hunger they'd had since arrival.
The Pilgrims and Braves, they gave thanks for the save
and it's become a once-each-year revival.

The day is the pride of the American side
from Cape Cod out to Bay San Francisco.
And Moms and Grandmas should get lots of applause
as they use Land O' Lakes and some Crisco!

Concluding their buys with their supermarket guys
so they get their pies and their fresh turkey.
The keep their flames low and they cook their birds slow
so the meals of November are perky!

But it seems that some clowns make their tattletale sounds
as they ride down the Interstate asphalt.
There's always one guest who is not at his best
always complains that your food needs more salt!

It was my Mom's fate that my arrival was late
as I watched football game at my high school.
We're crushed once again, by our rivals, not friends
as our coach's game plan made him big fool!

When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck
saying, "Rats, the parade I did not tape!"
At 7 PM, at the table, set in
and it looks like the turkey's in good shape.

But Uncle Phil sat and he wanted to chat
and he gave me one heck of a ribbing.
And later that night I'd wanna punch out his light
as he's wrecking our day of Thanksgiving!

Does anyone know, where's the mashed potatoes
as Aunt Bev's stories seem to last hours?
I'm starting to muse on what weapons she used
how three husbands she's now put behind her!

My pants have split up, no more wine in our cup
while both Phil and Bev maintain their blather.
And all that remains is my sister's and my pains
as Mom criticizes son and daughter!

We went through the woods, and a river that stood
as our Mom has now become the Nana.
And Dad's a cool gent, but he's losing patience
'cause she's driving everyone bananas!

And farther below, sis says, "We gotta go"
'cause her husband is getting a migraine.
I know how he feels, but Mom says, "What's the deal?
You still obsessing over that ballgame?"

In a musty old house in New Jersey, say Grace
knowing you're not about to get thinner.
And old Uncle John says Obama shouldn't have won.
That's the wreck of the Thanksgiving dinner!

The legend lives on, how our family went wrong
on the fourth Thursday in month November.
Posterior, it's said, they're a pain in, when fed
and they're gonna make me lose my temper!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 25

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   11
 11
 11
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   14
 13
 14
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - November 22, 2012 - Report this comment
Humorous sketching..sounds like the average Holiday dinner, alright...but, hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving, anyhoo...
John Barry - November 22, 2012 - Report this comment
Getting me in the mood.
Patrick - November 22, 2012 - Report this comment
An inspiring holiday number. Brings back memories. Sounds like you made it through the storm.
WarrenB - November 22, 2012 - Report this comment
Perky turkey got me to chuckling. Nice story, Michael.
Old Man Ribber - November 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Hey There Michael - I just stopped by and am ready for seconds! Yumm! It's been almost a year since my last submission, so maybe I'll take up the pen again soon. ;D
Dave W. - November 23, 2012 - Report this comment
hmmm...the squabble at the gobble......works for me!....Your table has lots of nice dressing
Meriadoc - November 23, 2012 - Report this comment
That was great Michael - I especially love Aunt Bev's three missing husbands and the 'meals of November'. Any minute though I expected Yogi Yorgesson to pop in and "slug Uncle Louie".
Wendy Christopher - November 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Well at least you US guys have the foresight to spread your family feuding over TWO festivities - Thanksgiving AND Christmas - rather than just saving them all up for the one :^) A spot-on skewering of those family shindigs, Michael - 555.
Peregrin - November 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Very good, I particularly liked the "Interstate asphalt" line!
Quyjibo - September 09, 2017 - Report this comment
This is a good work, but... isn't the original performer supposed to be Gordon Lightfoot?

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